You Know What...

And You Call Me Coloured?

2008-11-15T11:44:00.002+08:00

This beautiful poem was written by an African Child, and nominated by the UN as the best poem of 2006. Wanna share with one and all...

When I was born, I was black
When I grow up, I black
When i go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
[center][/center]And when i die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey

AND YOU CALLING ME COLOURED??

While he was sleeping...

2008-11-15T07:38:00.001+08:00

I look at him as he lay asleep ...his handsome face gentle and seemingly at peace with himself, perhaps a sweet dream as his mouth twitched into the faintest hint of a smile, and his dark lashes resting on his soft cheeks, I look at that face and felt that sudden rush of overwhelming love for him flow through me...a most beautiful feeling which takes my breath away everytime.

He has been through a lot this past 2 weeks - a roller coaster of emotions. To miss me when I was hospitalised recently, to stay home alone with no one to talk to...and in that state to celebrate his birthday...alone. If not for his connection to the outside world through his Facebook page, no one would know of his birthday. I am glad he has many concerned friends in facebook.

The good news he claims now that he is finally a TRUE CERTIFIED MALAYSIAN...and many wondered why. He proudly claims, "Well, as of 11/11 I am officially 12. I shall be getting my MY KAD soon and that makes me a true Malaysian".

He is my baby boy, my youngest son who did me proud by scoring straight As for his UPSR and Mumtaz for his PSRA recently. My cheerful, witty ,excellent young son (that is the meaning of his name actually!). As I watch him asleep now, he seemed so much a little boy yet that I almost dont have the heart to wake him up for his fajr prayer.

Then it dawned on me...that my true measure of love for him is not by his achievements in the academic field only, but more than that I am glad that he is a young man who can be roused to wake up for the fajr prayer without much fuss and harrass, he is a young man who has been fasting ever since he was 6 and cherish the month of Ramadhan, that he is a young man who can quote verses of the Quran to highlight a point in his conversation.

Yet he is also the one who has caused commotion between two sisters who are vying for his attention, he is the one who gives out a good fight back when his peers made fun of him, he is the one who is aware that Linkin Park? is a singing group, yet he is the one who can go to bed at night only after ummi gives him a peck on the cheeks and hugs him. In short, he is that young boy who knows he is my baby..anytime.

And so, I realise that even though one he may grow up, and hopefully be successful in his studies, make a good career in his life, what I wish for more is that he turns out to be a man who knows of his duties to his Maker, of his responsibilities to his parents and family, of his commitment to the betterment of his society.

And it is my duty to make sure that he is set on the right path to success..So..i shall wake him up for his fajr prayer...

need to get back ...

2008-11-01T12:23:00.001+08:00

I need to get back to my blogging...need to get back to my blogging...

What happened to me?

2008-10-24T13:26:00.005+08:00

O my Gosh...o my Gosh...I hadn't realised that it is over 2 months now since I last published any posts. Now why is that?

I guess the first month was excusable - it being the fasting month of Ramadan and all. I must admit of all the 5 obligatory duties of a Muslim, the one that I am the weakest is the third one - fasting in the month of Ramadhan. And so, to enable myself to go through the rituals of fasting as well as my daily routine, I have had to preserve my energy which meant less talk, less walk and of course going to bed early so I could get up on time to prepare the predawn meal or sahur for the family. All this meant that I had not much time (or energy) to even jot some simple thoughts for the day.

And then came Eidul Fitri - came and went so fast, I cannot believe the month is over! Just actually enjoyed it till the 5th of Syawal, before it was back to school. As usual, we went visiting, photo snapping and attending open houses. Many pictures were taken. At first I had intended to post them into my blog, but you know what? Lately, out of necessity, meaning to "oversee" what my nieces and nephews were commenting about my pictures which they post onto their Facebook accounts, I had to become active over there too, and subsequently I too have now posted my pictures there. Anyway, I am still hoping to really update this blog this upcoming holidays. Can't wait for holidays to comelah...truly and honestly bone tired...

And after that, lets see...ah yes..Ashraf's SMA, followed by my students' PMR, and then Zakiy's PRAI exams. And right now, the Form 4s are having their end of year exam, which means more marking for me. Finally, the SPM is scheduled to start on 11/11/2008.

I am hoping to move to my new house this December, get the pond done and settled in before 2009 starts. As slow as I am with my posting of blogs..the house developer and the municipal county is even slower with their work....bummer!

In Praise of God

2008-08-27T16:38:00.006+08:00

Salaam. You know what, as I sit and type here alone in my house, I only have praises for Allah Almighty in my heart. Although the weather outside is raining, with dark clouds and thunder clapping, but it is only joy and gratitude within. And you know why? Coz things are looking good for me. My last medical checkup shows my kidney to be functioning well, my liver cirrhosis is still in controlled state, despite the polyps that the doctors discovered recently. And I asked my favorite student@v.good doctor about the polyps, he said that as long as my liver functions are okay, it will probably be best to just leave the polyps alone...o I will leave those polyps well alone...hehehe...

And then of course, there is my first novel, finally born....I am thrilled to bits..and friends in school have something designed to celebrate the publication of this first novel. I am very very very embarrassed by it all....don't really know how to react. I just hope my novel wont disappoint them...

And most recently, we have been told that my new house is about to get the CF shortly. O please God, I am very hopeful and so looking forward to celebrate Raya over there. Water and electricity are available now. So you know what, hubby and I have decided to go ahead with our plan to celebrate raya there, even though we wont be moving in just yet, with or without CF. So we have met up again with our dear landscape artist, Mr. Loo, and confirmed our decision to have the garden and pond built, and he has immediately mobilised the work. And once again, I am so excited and thrilled to bits...coz you know why...more than the interior renovation of this new house of mine, I want a garden and a pond with running fountain for me to soothe my tired eyes after a hard day's work...while I sit on the chair on my wooden deck overlooking the pond and sip my hot cup of tea or vico...Aaah....that is the life for me now...And perhaps during the holidays, I might wake up early in the morning, and do my writing outdoors, the quiet sound of the running fountain a source of inspiration to me. O dear, I can't wait for the garden and pond to be completed. To my dearest hubby, thank you very much for understanding my wish, I highly appreciate your understanding, and thank you Mr. Loo for realising this wish of mine.

But above all, thank you Allah..for all YOUR blessings. With all my shortcomings and handicap, YOU never fail to make my dreams come true, one by one, and I know that YOU are always watching me, despite the moments when I have forgotten YOU. Just give me the strength o Allah, to be a grateful servant to YOU. O Allah, I can only hope and pray that YOU never ever abandon me, despite all my weaknesses and shortcomings.

And please Allah, bless all those who are dear to me too...my family and friends alike...and uncle and auntie...

p/s: And finally all praise be to Allah for the recent election in Permatang Pauh... God is the Best of all planners....and He knows Best!

Reflections

2008-08-22T12:51:00.004+08:00

On 3rd of September 2007, I wrote a post called In Honor of Friendship. In that post I pay tribute to my friends who have passed away, namely Rose, Azland and Maulud. And I said that if my effort is realised, it is Inshaallah in memory of them.

Well you know what? The effort is realised. My first novel is finally out! And I dedicate that book to you guys. May Allah bless your souls and may He place you guys amongst the pious and the succesful. Ameen.

Its Out - Finally!!

2008-08-21T23:15:00.006+08:00

Salam. You know what????MY BOOK IS FINALLY OUT!!! Yes and I am so excited..my first baby...how can I even begin to describe my feelings of elation right now...what has always been in my computer now has a beautiful front and back cover, synopsis all in one.

So please...please...please... you guys out there, friends, family, students...support my effort okay. I come by the pen name Alma Zakiya (publisher's choice), and the title of my very first novel here is AFTER THE RAIN. Very affordable - only RM10.00..please get a copy for your children, your spouse, yourselves...:-)

For your support and encouragement. all this while. ..I THANK YOU ALL MOST SINCERELY...and HUMBLY.

To BLOOM, an imprint of ALAF21 - THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING MY MANUSCRIPT...and start me off...

front cover

the back cover

the pen name

20 years

2008-08-19T23:44:00.005+08:00

Salaam. today marks the 20th year of my renal transplant. The first renal transplant in Malaysia was performed 16 years before my renal transplant! I hope the man is still doing okay. Whatever it is, God has been kind to all of us.

I had forgotten about today, until, this morning, when, during my extra Biology class with 13/27 students came for the extra class (not bad, just below 50% attendance), by the name of Yuthisthran, was given a happy 17th birthday wish. When told of the date today, it came rushing back to me about the importance of this day.

And so, after lunch, I went to Secret Recipe and bought a delicious Banana Chocolate cake to celebrate with most beloved sister, donor, ONI who happened to be at her daughter's house, Emma, together with her 2 grandsons, Imran and Adam.

And so we had what turned out to be a little cosy yet merry party to celebrate the 20th year of my renal transplant.

But you know what, I think I am going to make a little bit more elaborate "makan" for this occasion for the rest of my siblings, seeing that Ramadhan is now just round the corner...if Allah so Wills.

a special thank you cake for a very special donor!

Sis Oni cutting the "transplant cake!"

Donor sis and recipient me together...after 20 years...

ALL PRAISE TO ALLAH - 20 YEARS ALREADY!

2008-08-19T21:26:00.007+08:00

Salaam. It is now 2130 hours - and I am stuck at chapter 5. Its not for the lack of plots and ideas, but more on how to connect one episode to another. So, whilst I wait for inspiration, I might as well write something on this blog...not simply write, but because 20 years ago, today, holds a very significant event in my life.

I cannot even begin to thank Allah that it has been 20 years already that I have gone through my renal transplant. Gosh...the wonders of modern medicine and modern science never cease to amaze me...and the miracle of God...yes, for every little thing that passes through our lives, that we take for granted, they all are miracles to me after my new lease in life ...from 20 years back. While many females shudder at the thought of sweat, I am grateful for being able to sweat again for these past 20 years.. a sign that my system is on the go, and that it is removing excess heat, and excess urea and nitrogenous waste products from my body. Trust me, it is no small deal when your body fails to remove excess heat from you - it makes you feel like being in a state of perpetual low grade fever - a very depressing feeling, I assure you.

Today I am taken back to that fateful Tuesday (wow ..and it was a Tuesday too), when my most beloved sis, ONI, and I were wheeled to the operation theatre for the transplant. I was a horribly thin (38kg) individual, dark, with dry skin and pale lips and childless...and now 20 years later, today, I am this chubby woman, still dark, but no longer pale and my skin is no longer dry. And above all, I am so grateful to Allah that I feel as good as any other healthy person out there. And you know what...many people are taken aback when I tell them that I am a renal transplant patient. My appearance today, all praise be to Allah, does not, in any way, give away any telltale sign of being a transplant patient. Even the moon faced syndrome due to steroid intake has reduced quite considerably.

But above all, above all, the greatest miracle following my transplant are my two handsome, intelligent, obedient young sons, Ashraf (who now prefers to be called Ilman, excuse me) and Zakiy. I am forever thankful to God for them both; I mean even some healthier women are childless today, but I am so blessed to be given this second chance in life.

And although taking steroid is not without its adverse side effects, I have been living this good life for 20 years now. Of course I pray that I live for many more years, in time to see some of grandchildren at least, but these 20 years of life, on most part have been very good to me, with both my boys beside me. My fate is in God's hands, and He is the Best to decide when my time is due... I surrender my fate to His Will. Allah has been kind to this servant of His, and today I stand humbled, and repentant over my sins and wrong doings. Yet, I believe that Allah, His Most Merciful accepts me as I am, weakness and all...I believe that of my Creator...

And it is for this love of God, you know what, that I am so thankful to all - my sister Oni, my husband, my parents, my brothers and sisters who all love me very much, and I can feel their love every moment, all the doctors, especially Dr. Zaki Murad, and my uncle, Dr. Prohoeman (who retired and returned to Sumatera just after my transplant), the nurses and all those who have crossed my path, relatives, friends and students who have prayed for me...THANK YOU all and may God reward you....

And as for my 2 gem - one of you guys, if not both...please be a doctor, and do service to mankind...at least I can comfort myself knowing that I have contributed to the good of mankind, through the both of you.

Whatever that comes now, and after this, I shall learn to take things in my stride. I was in my mid twenties when I had my transplant, and now I am in my mid forties...times have changed, many things have changed, some loved ones have come and gone, I have had my shares of ups and downs, my share of tears and laughter, my fill of joy and heartache. And you know what? All of this is possible...because of this day, 20 years ago, when I was given a new lease of life...and because of it, I embrace life now... and all it has to offer. And God knows best.

with a nephew, Emir just before transplant

with another nephew, Jimmy, just after transplant...fighting for the "most chubby" trophy!

still able to celebrate yet another birthday, all praise be to Allah!

and to fool around on other people's birthday - Mak's recent birthday.

mid term school break!

2008-08-16T13:10:00.003+08:00

Salaam, usually I would be elated whenever school break comes. But this time, I am just relieved it is finally here. Too much work in school, plus the impending tension of my baby's upcoming UPSR exams. He got 4As and a B for his trial - which is a bit upsetting for me...hopefully he will perform better for his real exams. And then as soon as school reopens, big boy will be facing his trial SMA exams. I hope he will perform better than little brother. So, there wont be any distant traveling throughout this holiday. Not even for my niece Ana's engagement event in Kuala Terengganu tomorrow. Sorry Ana...but anyway, congrats!

And you know what? It is as if the system is envious of us teachers enjoying a holiday. As usual, I am bogged down with exam papers to mark..the PMR trials. And on top of that I am going to do extra Biology classes for the 5th formers in school, beginning Tuesday right up to Friday. I don't really mind that actually because that would help me catch up with the syllabus with those boys. The only worrying thing is the turn up on Tuesday. I just hope they will all turn up and remain steadfast for the rest of the 3 days. But before that, on Monday I have yet to go for my routine medical check up. Pray God that all will be well.

But one thing is for sure, I am going to utilise this holiday maximally with writing as much as I can with my second novel, Inshaallah. Because you know what???? Yea...I have just received my first advanced royalty for my first novel. And you know what that means? It means that inshaallah, my book is that close to being in the book stores. O God ..I am soooo excited. To all friends and family who happen to read this post...please please please support me and get a copy for yourselves okay. ;-)

O and one more thing, Mak, will be released from hospital today, after 1 week in hospital because of atrial fibrillation. She is now put on Warfarin, which renders her blood thin, so we must all make sure that she doesn't injure herself. All praise be to Allah, hope she will feel better now. Is there anybody out there who knows about warfarin and advise me on it? Its pros and cons... or direct me to a good website to enlighten me on the matter?

Okay..gotta get back to my second novel, while I am still in the mood. Somebody asked me how far I am with the second novel...its progressing ... its progressing...

updates

2008-07-26T06:07:00.003+08:00

Salaam. It has been nearly a month I think since I last wrote anything onto this blog. July - is always a terribly busy time of the year for me... this is the time when all the PEKA (Science Practical Assessment) assessors would be after us science teachers for the students PEKA marks for both SPM and S=PMR. And I am involved with both. This is the time that I would sudenly realise that one or two of my nincampoops students have not submitted their work at all. Also for the very slow and weak classes, I must make sure that they produce something to get minimal marks at least. I never minded teaching, but its the chasing after students to get their lab reports that tire me off.

No matter how I try to keep abreast with the work that needs doing in this month, year after year, I will be hard pressed for time. This is the month (or just prior to this), that class teachers meet up with parents for a report of their children's performance. And yes...I am a class teacher as well. From collecting the marks, preparing the mark sheet, right up to meeting the parents themselves, can be quite stressful. We have to make sure that the marks that are keyed in are correct, but what is worse is chasing after the subject teachers for marks, and the odd one or two students for their report cards, just to be sure we meet the deadline for passing up the report cards to be signed by the administrators and returned to us before the parent-teacher day! Stressful...as a result, i was so exhausted and even blacked out in school one afternoon...bummer!!

This is the time too that the third monthly test papers needs to be prepared. By right I should be reprieved this month, considering I had prepared the midyear exam papers. But upon looking at my colleague who is pregnant, and as her Science Panel Chief, I have not the heart to let her carry that burden on top of the obvious burden she is carrying in her now. So, yet again, I assume the responsibility, at least in the name of frienship. Same goes with Biology paper. And, truth be told, I have yet to submit those papers for printing. But they will be ready, God Willing. I adhere this time to the saying, "IF not for the last minute jobs, many things would not be done," hahaha...lame excuse I know..

Still there is lots to rejoice in this month. Big brother Apek's birthday celebration was a blast. I finally got the chance to show off (hmmm) and try out the camera on my new Samsung smartphone. Got the chance to meet up with all my sisters and brothers too...something I always look forward too, not forgetting the food.

Then, it was also report card day for both my boys. Reports that came back make m ever more grateful to God for having them. Ashraf as usual with his string of all As, with his deeniyah scoring an almost perfect 100% score, 97 ++%...really I was and still impressed. As for his academics, all A1s except you know what...Biology! and Add. Maths. Well done son. And as for my little baby, he scored 4As for his UPSR subject, getting a B for BM. But as the teacher told me, no one got an A because the particular teacher had set an "extra" difficult paper - for what purpose I fail to see. I would rather he set a paper in line with the national exam standards and format. Well, he has his own reasons I suppose. But the best part, my baby Zakiy got 1st position in class this time, for the second time, You know what, I think he is slowly maturing, and catching up with his brother.

Still more to come, Finally I got the agreement letter to my novel. And the last information is that, God Willing the book will be out in the market in 3 weeks time. Look out for it okay. And please please please, support my first novel. Get them for your children, for your friend's children, for yourselves if need be hahaha...Please pray for me....and my first born novel...more on this later. But for now, I am looking forward to unwind with my siblings at mom's birthday potluck party tonight...inshaallah.

p/s: Uncle, I strive to update this blog for you and auntie ok...smiles...

My new Samsung i780

2008-06-30T00:55:00.005+08:00

Salaam. You know what? I am so excited that as of yesterday, 29/06/08, I am the proud owner of a beautiful. slick black Samsung SGH i780 pda phone. Can't really believe I was actually getting it...

It happened that I am always getting hand-me-down pdas from hubby, except of course my 1st ever e-book which I won from the Pertandingan Membina Rancangan Mengajar together with Cikgu Karim fr SMK Kg Jawa.

Since then, hubby, everytime he wanted to change to a new pda, would hand down his old one, and then buys a new one for himself. Since I am not really pda savvy, I am normally just happy enough to accept whatever is given to me..especially appreciate the fact that I can do my writing, wherever I am and then to synch into my computer.

At first it didn't bother me much that after using the 2nd hand pda after some time, it starts giving me minor but irritating problems. And what is more, before it got too irritating, hubby was ready to get another new one... another, more recent hand-me-down for me. And I was happy again.

But I realise that once the problem starts, I cant enjoy the gadget anymore. And i get rather put off to even try to rectify the problem. It is like I simply give up because it is just a hand-me-down and so I can't really pinpoint when the damage originally started.

So when my present palm treo 650 started giving me problems bit by bit, I got really put off...especially when it started to switch off on its own. I thought deep and hard, and told hubby I want a new pda of my own - first hand this time!

Hubby then briefed me about the latest palm one pda - the palm centro. I was open minded, lets go and check it out. So off we went to Megamall IT World. The palm centro cost RM1300 - okay, affordable. Hubby had agreed to top up the price difference after rm1000. I was thinking 300 he could afford. But then suddenly, out of the blues, hubby suggested the samsung i780 pda. It costs a bit more than 1300.

One look at the slim, slick blak pda I was hooked to the looks. Yet I had to trust hubby about its functionality and so on and so forth. I was told of its multi functionality...3G, wi-fi, GPS - all terms I hear often enough, but have no idea what they are about. And what encouraged me more was the boys eager response to my choosing this pda. So the original plan to get a palm centro was changed to owning a black samsung.

So the pda is being charged now ..need to go for another 2 hours. And afer that I still cant use it..till big son Ashraf teaches me how to.

So, till then, I will try and keep the progress of my new pda updated...

Seeing that I am still awake, I might as well wait for the finals UEFA cup - Germany versus Spain....go Spain...

Errata

2008-06-16T18:58:00.002+08:00

Salam. Due to certain reasons, the latest post was taken off this blog. Thank you for your viewpoints...

Busy World, Busy People

2008-06-08T05:21:00.003+08:00

Recently I received an SMS text from a friend whom I have not been in contact with for a long time. The text just read this, "Busy World, Busy People".

And you know what? That simple message made me stop in my tracks. I am just a mere teacher, yet someone thinks I have been too busy to notice friends around me who might be missing my company, or my hello. It came as a realisation to me, how fast paced our life has become, and how sad the whole situation is. Everyone is so rushed for time, we hear constantly that we should manage our time wisely and prioritise our tasks. Unfortunately, we prioritise according to what that brings us profit/benefit. Just taking time to smell the roses, to pick up the phone and say "hi", is no longer particularly high up in our list.

I am just a simple teacher. Today marks the last day of the midyear school break. 14 days of no schooling, no teaching. But on the last day of school I brought back with me 11 sets of exam papers to be marked! In between, because it is a holiday, I had to make time for traveling - first to JB and then to KB to watch my son participate in his nasyid competition. That is time that needed to be allocated for traveling. Then, there was this day or two when I was feeling a wee bit under the weather and couldn't do anything much. Suddenly, before I know it, school holidays are over. And I find myself asking the question - when do I get the time to smell the roses, or to just watch the sun set or to just sit doing nothing but watch my kids play at the seaside/on the field? What with the rush between marking papers and traveling, I find myself just as exhausted as when I was before the school holidays.

So my mind wonders off to those high profiled individuals...morning meetings and evening discussions, the non stop business phone calls, the business emails to be answered, the papers to be completed and office tasks to be finished. Why are we so driven to rush, rush, rush...how did this come about? Why has everything else become so important, but the actions and efforts that can enhance our human relationships get progressively less and less attended to?

At the end of the day, when we claim to have made it, to have succeeded in life, I just hope that we dont turn around and look around us, only to find that there is nobody, no one beside us to share in our success, that we have gone up there ...only to find ourselves alone up there! I can only pray, that I never receive another such SMS with an added clause: busy world, busy people, lonely people...and God knows Best!

The Beauty of Time

2008-05-28T13:18:00.002+08:00

It is now 1316. Wednesday,28/5/08. I am alone in Johor. Nothing much to do, nowhere special to go. The quiet surrounding seems to be very peaceful to me, and oh..for the luxury of having my own time to do as I please. And certainly what pleases me most is having the time to write...my mind, my thoughts, my opinion. Write and write and continue writing...
My son Ashraf, he would be the first to agree with me how much school demands of our time, he as a student, and I as a teacher. Almost all my time is dedicated to doing school work, and when the weekends come, it is devoted to becoming the driver/maid. Writing becomes a dream only. But now the school holidays are here, and what more I am alone here in Johor, I find myself very focused and you know what, this is my 3rd post in a row that I am posting.
I hope this fever stays on, and I pray that once I am back, I will still have precious time like now to do my writing...what a way to release all my stress..aah for the love of writing!
Alas...11 piles of exam papers await me at home...

Teacher's Day - ACS Style

2008-05-28T12:19:00.002+08:00

Last Friday, 23/5/08, the last day of the first semester, we celebrated our Teacher's Day celebration. On the whole, it was a great celebration - some new innovations on the agenda. I particularly liked the multimedia show..an insight to the goings on in school throughout the year. Great job done - oklah...I will mention the names, Darleen and Amelia, and all the Fraternity club AJKs! Heartiest congratulations on a task well executed.

The point that I am interested to highlight though is this...you know what? On that particular day, we were instructed to wear our formal batik attire, the red silk batik designed specifically custom made to be made the ACS formal batik attire/uniform for teachers. Now if that wasnt an issue in itself. When suggestions were made to have teachers to wear a common formal batik attire, I was probably the only Malay teacher opposed to the suggestion. As to the other non malay teachers, quite a few objected as well. I wasn't particularly interested to be in uniform, it felt to me like a loss of one's individuality. Finally, a vote was made, and it was in favour of having that formal batik uniform - red in colour, never my favourite colour. But, a decision is a decision made, and I bow to the unanimous vote..., after all it was just an issue of batik dressing, the fashion is left optional to us. So I figured that it doesnt really affect my principles, except for my distaste to the colour red. This formal uniform is to be worn on special occasion, such as on this Teacher's Day celebration.

A bit about this batik wearing day. I think everyone knows by now that this is the idea of Pak Lah, in memory of his late wife, who championed the Malaysian batik industry. And this instruction is to be acknowledged by all government employees - from the highest ranking right down the line.

And so, on this auspicious teacher's day, reluctantly I wore my red batik baju kurung, telling myself it is a directive from the head of the government himself (...more frighteningly... from mdm Darleen hahahah...gotcha). But ironically, most ironic, in ACS, I was immensely surprised to witness some teachers not wearing the formal batik attire. And most disconcerting was that, those that purposely or unpurposely did not wear this batik were the higher ranking administrators...which made me wonder why? I have heard prior to this. that some teachers were not too happy with the choice of colours...what??then why did you guys agree with the colour in the first place? Once a vote is made, then the decision stands, over riding individual preference. And what is worse..was that, those who did not wear the formal batik were mostly the non malay teachers...how come, why so? My mind strays, I dont voice it out, but I am putting it down here on my personal blog. Is it because you guys associate it with something Malay? Perhaps it used to be...but now it is a nation's issue..propagated by the Premier himself. Maybe you guys do not like the pattern, the colour choice, but surely, it is not big deal to get another batik design...as long as it is batik..just to get into the mood of unity on that day.

Maybe some will argue that it is not compulsory. Well maybe so...but it is propagated and made as instruction by the PM, so as far as I can say, at least, at the very least. the administrators should show. even just apparently so, their support of the government's campaign. After all. they are the administrators, what they do, reflect the school and affect the other staff members. If an administrator does not see it in her/him to show respect for the government's campaign, what more is to be expected of the teachers...the students? You guys are the administrators, decision makers of the school, and the top liners who are supposedly the ones who preach implementation of the various government policies. I remember everytime a teacher is found to be lacking in his/her service, it will be droned into his ear. "If you don't feel you are up to doing this job, then leave...change profession". Then perhaps it should be said too that, "If you as administrators cant find it in you to appear to be supporting the government's campaign, even if seemingly so... then shouldnt you...." It is said that once you gain power in the government, then the more you have to comply to their commands, or else....It is for this very reason, that many people refrain from working with the government...any government today for that matter.

We are teachers, first and foremost. What we do, what we say, knowingly, or unknowingly, are being watched and evaluated by our students. Sometimes, I begin to glimpse the reason why some students here just dont seem to have the respect for other people's race and culture, and forever insisting on theirs. But...it is no longer that..the batik is now a national issue...a Malaysian issue, there is no need to prove that you have your own culture at this point...Wallahualam.

APC

2008-05-25T11:22:00.005+08:00

Last Thursday, 22/5/2008, I finally went to Goldcourse Hotel in Klang for the APC award ceremony (see previous posts). Johari, Azman and Noradila car pooled with me, and we had Johari driving my vehicle...(thank God..on the way back, the town was heavily jammed). We left school in time to reach the hotel in Klang by 8 am. Once there, the others, Rajamokan, Mr. Surinder, Mr. Lee Tsai Fui and Jaja were alreaday there. They had come on their own.

I am not always comfortable in formal situations, but upon registration, I was happy to be greeted by so many friends from my previous schools - especially the teachers who were in my Science Panitia once when I was head of the Science panel in SMKKJ - Vanitha was there, and so were Romizah, Shafiqah, Rupitah, Cikgu Mat Aris, and a few others, whose names have escaped me right now. I am so glad they are getting the award too (APC = Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang/Excellent Service Award) for their tireless effort in teaching. Vanitha and Rumizah once worked with me in the Science Panel, and I must admit I admire their dilligence and commitment to their jobs. I am just glad that their efforts are being recognised finally.

We, the ACSians were placed upstairs in the hall, table 57. As usual, speeches were made by the VIPS. As we listened and waited, the butterflies in my stomach grew in numbers and fluttered wildly within. As I said, I am never comfortable in formal situations, where protocol must be observed, and even worse when I have to go upstage...for any reason at all. I prefer to be just one of the backbenchers...anytime. Thank God, messages from friends encouraging me proved useful in calming my nerves.

And then, as usual, the barrage of speeches ensued. I could see many were not listening, I try to as much as I can. Interesting to find out what our supreme education officers have to say. One comment made by the Selangor Pengarah Pendidikan, Datin Hamidah Nordin, caught my interest, and sparked off my brain into thinking. She made a reference to the present community today who dare speak up, in loud and clear voice, their dissatisfaction with what the government was doing. Point accepted. Then ironically she continued and questioned whose fault is it? that we have created a generation of citizens who dare criticise the government? And, according to her, guess whose fault it is? yup...she blames it on the teachers who have probably built a generation of ingrates.

Excuse me!!! What does the education system in our country really wish to achieve? Just a breed of "yes master", "yes massah" zombies? Just a generation of youngsters who are experts on sucking up? What is wrong in criticising the goverment, if the mass thinks it is erring in its ways? At least it acts as a check and balance mechanism, I should think. That the citizens of Malaysia can see and criticise, is an indicator that the new generation is a thinking one...able to discern what is acceptable and what is not.

And why are we teachers to be blamed? I believe the majority of us teachers adhere to the pledge we take...we realise our position is one that has high impact on the future generation. We adhere to what is good, what is moral, what is true...and we propagate it. And I believe, if the truth sometimes hurt, so it hurts! But the crucial thing is to learn from our mistakes..not blame others ..or what is worse..accuse others, such as us teachers as being the propagators of ingrates. I think that is a wee bit uncalled for. If an unjust is done, it will be seen somehow or rather, sooner or later, and we teachers certainly don't need to highlight it.

As a teacher, I am a paid employee, meaning I am paid for the service I render...and by saying so, what I do for my living, what my relationship is with my employer, should not, in any way, undermine my freedom of thoughts, the principles I believe in. My movements might be restricted to a certain extent because I work with the government, but certainly not my thoughts. The freedom to think and to discern what we deem good or bad, is our birthright, and as a teacher, I am not prepared to deprive my students of that right. Wallahualam.
P/S: You know what...when i returned to school that afternoon, the most beautiful hand bouquet of macdonald's lilies were waiting for me on my table..it was only signed from a "you know who". Boy..if I wasn't the envy of the day! Well You Know Who..you know who you are, thank you so very much...it was such a lovely and most unexpected surprise. Needless to say, it made this happy day for me, almost perfect...yea.. a bouquet for teacher Hafizah...

Innertalk

2008-05-17T21:38:00.004+08:00

Salaam. Today, I attended the Innertalk Stress Management Talk from 10 am to 12.30 am in Damansara Perdana. Actually, I came to know about this talk when I bought two of the Innertalk CDs during the recent BookFair. However, I have heard of Innertalk programmes since last year, but only now decided to get into this programme.
The talk was a very relaxing one, with only 8 attendees...very cozy indeed. You know what, I could relate to many of the information presented by the speaker, Chandran. So it looks like I am stressed out hahaha. To summarise, stress is basically related to these 2 fields of life: work and relationships. He cited examples about stress faced by people in different walks of life ; pregnant mothers, parents of ADHD children, teachers (me..me...me...) and between spouses and so on and so forth.
Then, as suggestions to solving the stress issues, Chandran pointed out that any external solutions will not be effective in the long run, for as long as we do not take charge of ourselves from within, from focusing our inner strength and detoxifying all negative thoughts which have been embedded in our subconscious, sublimal mind - etches or pictures which we call ENGRAMS. These engrams are like the triggering word/phrase that hypnotists use to instruct the person being hypnotised to carry out instructions that have been told to them when in state of hypnotism. The trigger wordphrase make us react without us having control of our actions. So, just imagine if negative thoughts have been embedded in our thoughts for so long, they can have real dire repercussions on our lives!
Stress must be addressed ...and handled. The thing is for us to be a Master, having control of our stress, instead of being the Victim, where we are helpless to manage our stress. This strength must come from within, and it starts off by detoxifying our minds from all previous negative affirmations we have heard directly or indirectly before. The INNERTALK programme is basically a series of CDs which on the outward appear to be soothing or rejuvenating music or sounds, but in effect, sublimally, in the low frequency background, positive messages, positive affirmations are being sent to us simultaneously. It is sublimal, so it means that once we put the CD on, we can go about our business as usual, as the messages reaches us in our subconscious minds no matter what.
My boys and I have been trying out these CDs for about a month now..and slowly, almost unconsciously, unawares, I begin to see subtle changes within me, and the boys. The CDs which I have bought so far are basically to aid learning, i.e. Accelerated Learning, Concentration and Creative Writing. One of the participants who attended the Stress Management today, was a lady from India, who has an ADHD child, and she claims that after tirelessly trying to help her child, she has finally found that the Innertalk CD on ADHD actually succeeded in helping her son..and I could see she is a staunch supporter of this programme.
You know what...anyone reading this, should just give it a go. The whole brain talk programme caters for most of our needs. It is easy to use, it addresses our subconcious minds, so the results will come almost unawares, and the positive affirmations will only make our outlook to life much better...nothing to lose actually.
Anyway, for those interested, try logging on to www.Innertalk.com.my
O by the way..I bought 3 more cds today, two are for improving my stress level...am hoping to detoxify my mind and help me handle stress better, only so I can avoid giving stress unconsciously to my boys and students. This is my investment.

The New House is Ready...finally!

2008-05-10T21:29:00.004+08:00

Salaam. At last...at long last, today hubby and I went to see Mr. SK Lau, the site supervisor to the new house which I bought...like 4 years ago...and which was supposed to be ready in March 2005...to perform our final inspection.
Alhamdulillah, our patience has finally paid off, by the Will of Allah. It is not that we are desperate to move out..it is just that the kids were saying that, with our present home, the only place they can go to is up and down..up and down. They don't go out of the house much, mainly because the front porch is always blocked by the car, which leaves very small space to do much else. Outside the gates ...well, it is not their habits in the first place to roam out of the gates.
So, it was one evening, 4 years ago, that the boys and I were as usual unwinding at Tesco on the way back home from their school, that we saw this kiosk advertising a new housing area, in Andalas Jaya, very close to Andalas area. I have always liked living in Andalas, after all, the housing area was named by beloved Abah himself many years ago.
So back to the kiosk story. The boys and I noticed that the area was ideal enough, and the houses sold were proposed semi-D's. Hmm...interesting, we thought. Then we looked at the price range, and with a little mental calculation, I deduced my loan legibility could well cover the price. So, after discussing the issue over dinner at KFC with the boys, we decided to simply fill in the booking form first at no cost, with the understanding that, should we agree to purchase the house, a booking fee of rm2000 was necessary.
Back home, the meeting and discussion was further brought to hubby's attention, the house plan and area presented to him...for the final nod.
And so, that was how, by the Will of Allah, we came to own this house in Andalas Jaya. Between the kids and I, up till today, they would laugh when they remember how Ummi.."does not only shop for groceries at Tesco, she even bought a house at Tesco..."
Unfortunately, the happy eager wait turned to anxiety, and then plain worry..and finally graduated to, "it'll be ready when its ready...". Ashraf has finished his pmr, Zakiy will be going to form 1 soon, and only now it looks as if we are finally going to shift in by June, I'nshaallah. All their eager excited talks have quietly faded away, and they are not as excited as they were 4 years ago when we booked the house. They have grown up since..but I believe once the moving house fever is on...they will catch up again on the excitement and thrill of moving into a new home. At least today, I hear Ashraf thinking out loud of getting a new study table for his new room, and Zakiy has never forgotten my promise to get him a bicycle once we move in to this new housing area, which is definitely more quiet and safer in terms of traffic for him to ride his bike outside the gates. My only wish is that, my boys' dreams of inviting their friends over and having tea in the front lawn, without disturbing Ummi's privacy inside the house will come true for them soon. Ashraf will be in his final year of secondary school soon enough.
And finally, you know what? As far as I am personally concerned, I am just glad that I am earning enough to provide for my kids...and my family. All praise be to Allah...

2008-05-01T19:48:00.002+08:00

1/5/2008 - Workers Day.
I just realised that I have not written anything throughout the month of April. Many things have happened in April, and by right many things to write about. But I guess I just didn't have the time nor the drive to post it into my blog. Not good....I must learn to break away from this nasty habit of procrastination...

Many interesting things did indeed happen throughout April, some good ones, some less fortunate ones. Firstly, on one morning in April, in my rush to get to school, I reversed my car out of the house...right into the bumper of my Viva...kena lagi viva tu... the bumper of the CRV got misaligned because of that. Hmmm...I know it is my fault for not looking at the rear view mirror when reversing, but, hubby too should have parked the viva in the usual place or at least told me that he had not parked the car in its usual place prior to my reversing the CRV. Anyway, thats that...

Then on another occasion when I was in school and went up to the office for some errand, the clerk came up to me. And you know what? I had received the Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang (Excellent Service Award) from the District Education Office! Thats encouraging...at least it makes what I do for the kids in school seem worthwhile. I can only thank God for that...
so its one unfortunate event neutralised by one good news...more about this later after I attend the ceremony I hope.

And oh! dont forget, April is the Book Fair Week! The family went on Saturday, 5/4 after the boys' tuition class and as is the norm at every book fair, I finished my money there...this time buying the INNERTALK CDs - two of them. I have heard and read about how INNERTALK, helps to deal with our subconcious mind before, but this time I actually went out and bought 2 of the CDs - one for Zakiy, on "Concentration", and the other for Ashraf and I, on "Creative Writing." We have been playing them over and over again for about a month now. I like it. I think, subconciously the innertalks hidden behind the music are getting to us.

What else? Aaahhh yes...mustn't forget the Money Mastery Boot Camp that hubby and I attended on 12 -14th April. Wow! What an eye opener and humbling learning experience for me there. More of this in a separate post.

And last, but not least, the boys' Prize Giving Day on Saturday, 29/4 and what ensued before that. Also hopefully in a separate post...

Must push myself harder to write...no buts, no excuses...I plan to..that is the positive action word...so ...

Friends...

2008-03-29T02:27:00.007+08:00

Salaam. Surprisingly, my last post seemed to draw more attention than the other previous posts, especially to some people who are genuinely close to me, God bless them. Actually, you know what...that post was written on the spur of the moment...when I was momentarily lost in my emotions...lost my cool, so to speak...and I was caught on the post! Hahahah...I guess those people suddenly saw a side of me they probably never saw before, and I don't know if that is good or bad.

Nonetheless friends, I am okay. As I said it was just a one-off event when I threw all caution and care to the wind. No big deal. But the response to the post showed me one thing though. When friends come up to me and say,"Hey..what is all that post about? You wanna talk about it? Are you okay? I am here for you okay..." it showed me just how true friends go out of their way to support you in moments when you just feel down and alone. They don't only leave it on the comment box, considering I only had 1 comment, but they call, and/or actually speak to me personally. That is great...and cool.

And in the end, it is the human relationships, human emotions, the nitty gritty events of everyday living, that strikes at the human heart, that brings people together - a shared moment, comrades in hardship so to speak.

But the real lesson that I get here is...wow! am I lucky to have some very good friends around me....thanks guys...you are a gem!

When things get too much...

2008-03-21T09:10:00.004+08:00

Salaam, sometimes life simply sucks! Of people breaking promises to us, of people who do not mean what they say, of people betraying our emotions.

What does one do in moments of harsh reality like these? You feel like lashing out, but to whom? Nobody is there to listen to our lashings. You only end up in frustrated tears, and a heart that feels betrayed, hurt beyond repair.

But time heals, and God is always there. Sometimes, one just has to remember that it is He in the first place who puts all these trials before us...and it is only He Who can repair these damages. One just has to be patient as to when God decides to heal it all.

As for now...life goes on...and you know what, I think so should I...

Yeah...we made it!

2008-03-19T20:40:00.002+08:00

Salaam, you know what? I am very excited to write this blog. Today, it was raining when I reached school at 7.30 am, a bit late, due to the extra heavy traffic jam because of the rain. By all accounts I was late, since I had to bring my Lower Secondary Science Team for the District Level Inter school Science Quiz. As soon as I made it to school, I jumped out of my car, dashed to the school foyer where my 3 + 1 team members were already waiting. They were Rahupathy, Ng Shang Ying, Arvinraaj and reserve, Pravin.

We had to go to Sm(P) Kapar, which was quite a distance from ACS, and with the rain and traffic jam I was worried I could not make it by 8 am. However, I comforted myself with the thought that other participants would be late too in this kind of weather; so they would probably start off the quiz at a later time too.

True enough, by the time we reached the school in the real downpour, we were obviously not the last. And my prediction that the quiz would start of later was true - it finally started at 9.15 am. So, whilst waiting, I sat with the boys and started asking Rahupathy who was seated next to me some general questions...like the virus which causes SARS, the meaning of SARS, the scientific name for man, the component of the blood that is used in the test for determining HIV, World Kidney day, number of human chromosomes and a few other. One or two of these questions I managed to forward to the other 3 students as well.

Once again, as in previous years, I was one of the marking team after the test for all participants ended 30 mins from its commencement. So, it followed that I got access as to which school would go to the finals. Previously, ACS lost out to a chance question when it tied marks with another school, and so was ousted from the 5th finalist line up.

Again, this year, I was apprehensive when the judges said there was a tie for the sixth place. O no! not again, I had specifiically hand picked my team members this year, really they were the creme de la creme of science in the school. And I had given them workbooks to do their revision and test their skills during the 1 week midterm break. I was determined this time not to be frustrated by sheer bad luck.

Thank God, it turned out that the 2 finalist involved were not from ACS. On the contrary, we had scored the second highest marks! I was hopeful.

Hurrying back to where my students were, I slowly let out the good news and told them we had scored second position. One of the team members was a bit jittery, so I told him we can beat the others and make it to the top. He turned around and asked me, "All I need to do is be relaxed, right teacher?". The poor sweet boy. It was no joke for him ...the idea of representing the school! I simply nodded and patted him on the shoulder for encouragement and moral support.

The team from SMK Kuang Hua, who was the leading team, was a real tough contender, obtaining a perfect score of 6. But then, so were the gentlemen of ACS. I was getting excited and anxious at the same time. It finally came down to a draw for us - once again, but this time a fight for 1st place. Each 1st member had answered correctly, then the 2nd member of the rival school managed to give an extra mark for her team. Then, our 2nd team member was asked, "What component in our blood is used to detect HIV?" O my God, I had asked the question to Rahupathy earlier on...but not to the other 2 members. Alas, he did not know the answer...and so we lost by 1 mark to SMK Kuang Hua...and came second.

But it was a good match, we were up against a worthy opponent. ACS has not won these past years, and I am so thankful, at least, my team members have retained our honour as one of the premier schools in this state. Coincidentally, whilst my team was out battling for the prestige and honour of ACS, in school a celebration was going on to celebrate the school's 115th birthday. A day to remember indeed.

And so, still in the mood of celebrating our victory, I took the boys for a treat at KFC, Teluk Pulai. They were good boys, and from my conversations with them, they all had parents who are caring and nurturing. These boys remind me of my own 2 boys... I hope that they too will do their school proud before they leave one day.

And so, next Monday, I will announce this good news during assembly. Well done boys!! Way to go ACS...

Taking a breather

2008-03-15T20:45:00.003+08:00

Mevlana Nasruddin was supposedly a wise, but somewhat cynical religious scholar who the Turkishc people claim to have lived in Turkey. His popularity and wise words have had many nations to claim him as their once upon a time citizen. Anyway, here is something which I would like to share to show his wittiness and sharp mind.

Once Nasruddin was asked his age. He answered, "I am 40." The man who asked him that question, then said, "I thought you said that a few years ago?"
Nasruddin answered,"Yes that shows how consistent my answers always are"

I love his answer....hehehehehe

Unforgettable Turkey -Day 6: Cappadocia -Ankara-Bolu

2008-03-15T13:46:00.026+08:00

Early morning, on 6th day, the sympathetic smile on Enis's face, left me despondent. It looked like the weather was not on our side. It was once again, finally confirmed that we wouldn't be flying the hot air balloon over Cappadocia. If that is the Will of God, then I accept that there must be some wisdom behind it. My only regret is that, I have been told that this hot air balloon ride is one of the cheapest of balloon rides over the world. O well...I wasn't going to let one disappointment (albeit a major one) bring my spirits down.

That morning, we made a slight detour. Instead of heading straight to Ankara, we went first to the Caravanserai that we missed 2 days before. Mashaallah! You know what, the place really brought be back in time, more like towards the medieval times (or maybe even earlier). And, strangely, looking back at the photos, I think I was even dressed for the occasion! Okay, a bit about this caravanserai...

This Caravanserai - The Aksaray Kayseri Caravanserai was one of the stops that was built during the Silk Route era, this one in particular was built in the Seljuk Dynasty. It served as a free stopover for weary traveling tribes, with each individual provided with 100g of meat for each of the 3 days maximum that he/she was allowed to stay over. Although it was built in the 14 century, but one marvels at the safety system of the place. The doors would open in the morning, and closed at night. The safety system insisted that each traveler wrote a report of all their personal goods to the officers in charge, and prior to leaving, all those items would be rechecked. Any damages to their goods would be redeemed. This particular caravanserai did not allow animals into the sleeping quarters, although there were some in which the animals bunked together with their owners - mainly for shared warmth. The place resembled some form of dormitory lifestyle - communal kitchens, conference room,a mosque(mescid in Turkish) in the centre. This particular serai could fit to about 100 individuals, which meant that if a tribe contained 25 strong, then at any particular point, there would be about 4 tribes stopping over.

I was really brought back in time, feeling myself pulled back into the times of those travelling tribes that once must have stopped at some point in this Serai. The relics were still in comparatively good shape, with pigeons making their homes there now. The cold wintry weather and the bleak grey skies added to my sense of imagination as to how those travellers appreciated this kind of stop over just to rest and recuperate, not forgetting to socialise; after spending days on the silk route. I was mersmerised, really getting a feel of the place as it once might have been in all its glory centuries ago...come share this moment with me to go back in time..

The signboard with a brief history of this Caravanserai

The bus stops in front of the caravanserai fort wall

The walls surrounding the caravanserai

the entrance to the Caravanserai

The walls surrounding the inside of the caravanserai

Certainly they were not as happy-go-lucky as this madam!

View from the archway

Presumably once used to wash the hands?

Mosque at the centre of the Caravanserai

Stairs leading to the Prayer Hall of the mosque

The separate sleeping quarters

From here on, we started our journey towards Ankara. I realised then, from looking at the map we were on our second half of our journey - homeward bound. But as yet there was still much to be seen and captured. I was certainly looking forward to visiting the Blue Mosque in Istanbul.

Houses few and far between en route to ankara

Bleak empty vastland -wonder if much has changed from those caravanserai days

With vast open lands like this, a stop-over would be heaven sent!

Modern day amenities - stopover for petrol... and toilet!toilet!toilet!

In Ankara we stopped for lunch at a restaurant which was built in1961. After lunch, we headed for a nearby mosque to pray zohr/asr. The water was chillingly cold right to the bone. If I had never lived in UK before I would certainly have freaked out.

View of the restaurant where we had lunch in Ankara

The mosque in Ankara where we prayed zohr/asr

The surrounding, the weather, reminded me so much of Salford in late Autumn!

After prayer we went straight into Ankara, where we visited the Mustapha Kamal Mausoleum. The place was impressive; the museum portraying the various aspects of his life was educational. The picture gallery that portrayed his victory into transforming Turkey to what it is today, a fully secular muslim nation, tells the sad tale of the end of the Muslim Caliphate. Unfortunately for us, his success meant the End of the Glorious Days of Islamic Caliphate. Looking at the lifestyle of the caliphs and kings, it was understandable for Mr. Kamal to want to rid the country of their powers and influence. But unfortunately he went too far I think in totally wiping out the Islamic culture, up to having the Islamic alphabets changed to the Turkish alphabets, and having the azaan be recited in Turkish. His approach of uniting Turkey under one united nation seemed to appeal to the young, who adhere to his teachings (there is even a book for the youngsters to refer to - The Attaturk Doctrine so to speak) with no questions asked. This is such a pity, because Mr, Kamal, in his zeal to rid of the errant final Caliph, went overboard so as to totally overlook the true Islamic principles, which will not only unite the nation, but also has the potential to unite the world! And by prohibiting Islam to be practised freely, he has deprived the Turkish populace for so long from the opportunity to understand the beauty of fundamental Islam. At least this is my opinion. In trying to 'free' Turkey from the clutches of affluent caliphs, he had imprisoned the minds of the youngsters from understanding and opening up to the real beauty of true Islam. Well....at least that is what I think.
Anyway, looking at his tomb, and the heavily protected grounds of this mausoleum, I reach the conclusion that in the end, he too, was nearly as affluent as the last caliphs of the Ottoman Empire. Hmmm... Looking at the guards that protect his tomb, I pity Mr. Kamal, even in death he had to be protected...from whom I wonder? Alas, no pictures were allowed in the museum buildings.
Interestingly enough, we met fellow tourists from Ezmir and got the chance to snap some photos with the local people Turkey visiting the mausoleum.

Entering Ankara City - Attaturk 's City

Mr. Kamal's last words

A view from the outside

Real life guards watching over the entrance and exit - as stiff as dummies -except for the faintest smiles when photos of them were taken!

entrance

...exit

The tomb where Attaturk is laid to rest

The sober surroundings within the mausoleum

Hello...is this little Missy trying to liven things up a bit? hmm...

The view surrounding the mausoleum - museums and galleries

The mausoleum from outside

To give an idea of how vast the compound is

Inscriptions outside the mausoleum

Ancient Egyptian drawings decorate the walls outside the mausoleum.

Flowers arranged to make up the map of Turkey outside the grounds

Meeting up with some local tourists

Late evening we finally made it to Bolu, one final stop en route to Istanbul. That will be in the next post okay.

Unforgettable Turkey Day 5 - after lunch

2008-03-13T02:53:00.018+08:00

Day 5 proved to be a long, fulfilling day, many places of interest to visit. I like it this way, we were spending 2 nights in Cappadocia, so there was at least one day of no rush visiting and sight seeing.

Anyway, after lunch, we were taken to visit a pottery family manufacturer which runs back to as far as 200 years ago. The guide who gave us the brief preview of his family business was Saim, and the ?potterer? was his brother Sadi, whilst the painters on duty when we came were Ibrahim and somebody whose name I simply missed. Very interesting insight to their family business, and Saim presented in a very friendly style. According to him, their family policy is ..."You break, you make". Cute...

Family pottery industry - underground factory

Interestingly, the potter factory is situated in a cave and when the clay is shaped, it is first left in the cave for 60 days, in cave temperature (completely missed the temperature). After that time, it is glazed at 200C for 16 hours. From then on, the designs are made, hand printed mind you. The more popular designs are tulips (popular because the flowers appear to be like the spelling of ALLAH in Arabic). The Tree of Life and butterfly designs are also popular.

Saim explaining while Sadi works on

Sadi showing off his expertise

A demonstration by Sadi

Ibrahim painting designs on a clay plate

The artists - unperturbed by our presence

Alas, these beautiful crafts are simply too expensive... ( and appear more so after the crazy gem shopping earlier). I don't think any one of us bought anything here. But the beautiful colourful vases are really a sight to behold.

Ornamental clay design - not just vases and plates ok!

They come in themes too - turquoise blue pottery...beautiful!

Proof that we've been here..okay?

The clay plates with an assortment of beautiful designs to feast the eyes

They come in frames too!

From the pottery house, we proceeded to Pasa Bag (pronounced with a silent/soft G - in Turkish alphabet it has a hyphen on top of the G). This is where you will find the open museum. The view - simply breathtaking. Very quiet little village, the open museum displays natural rock formation as is typical around Cappadocea. Simply unique - one just has to be there to appreciate its beauty. Honestly, I find it very difficult to express its beauty which complements its serene atmosphere. To me, it has a therapeutic feel to it - stilling and easing away all emotional tension and pressures, as you are slowly embraced by the silence and the majestic rocks that surround you. The long empty stretch of road, just makes you feel like talking that long walk at your own pace, leisurely...no hurries, no harrass. Personally, here was where I took time off from all mundane thoughts of the hustle and bustle of life. I think, looking at the photos, you will agree.

Breathtakingly beautiful - I am entranced!

Zelve open air museum in Pasa Bag

Picturesque view of the Open Air Museum grounds

And finally, it was yet another stop to witness the home carpet weaving industry. Unfortunately, I was so engrossed listening to the explanation as to how tedious it is to weave silk carpets, and the length of time plus energy spent on weaving a single carpet, that I totally forgot to jot the details down into my PDA. Anyway, I think the pictures taken will refresh my memories.

A brief introduction on how carpets are dyed for their colourful effects

A few samples of the dyed thread to be woven into carpets

The silk cocoon from which the silk thread are spun for silk carpets - tedious job!

Taking a much needed breather...

Intricately weaving carpet designs just from pictures as guide

A show of appreciation for their expertise and hardwork

Prof being graciously led to the Gallery Showroom

Strikingly beautifully hand woven carpet - let's not mention the price ok!

Exquisite? Well...so is the cost!

Take your pick madam, silk on silk? silk on cotton?

When we eventually returned to the hotel, it was drizzling, I was famished, and all in all, it was a totally unique Turkish sightseeing experience for me on this 5th day of my Unforgettable Turkey expedition.

Uniquely enchanting Cappadocea - forever engraved in my mind!

Tomorrow we head off to Ankara, but not after visiting the historical caravanserai stop; yet another site which just simply took me back in time...All that in my next post, inshaallah.

New Blog Gadget from Ilman

2008-03-11T21:30:00.001+08:00

Salaam. You know what? Today, I got a new gadget from my big boy to help make my blogging easier and more easily accessed - the Zoundry Blog Writer. What does it do? It helps me create my posts offline and publish it when there is Internet connection, which is so handy simce sometimes I can't get online easily. So right now, he is showing me practically how to perform this very task. Let's see if I can learn it and if it can benefit me...

Ok then... here goes...

The Unforgettable trip continues - Day 5, The Visit to Onyx Stone Powerhouse

2008-03-10T14:32:00.025+08:00

Salaam, now that things have cooled down somewhat in my household after the general election which resulted in the people's power given the mandate to represent my state for this term, and the excitement and suspense within me settling down gradually, I can concentrate again on my writing; and to where I left off with my recollections of my unforgettable trip to Turkey. Every time I get bogged down with work in school, I will look back at pictures of my Turkey trip and rejoiced at the exhilirating feeling and the freedom that I felt. I have not given up on my determination to write accounts of my expedition there, no matter how long it takes, as the memories are still fresh in my mind.

Now, from where I left off...

On the fifth day of my trip, early morning cancellation of the hot air balloon ride was somewhat compensated by the beautiful view around Cappadocea (see earlier blog on trip to Turkey). From there, we were taken around the valley and enroute, Enis our guide, gave a brief history of the area around. It is believed that the Hittites were amongst the earlier people here to form a civilisation circa 2nd AD. where the christians dug out the ground to make homes. Later, St. Basil, and St Gregory (the Illuminator), built a community here and schools for the christians. This marks the monastery type of life here until 743, when the christians were divided into 2 sections. Those in Anatolia (byzantium)were keen on painting idols as showing their devotion to christianity, where the idea was rejected and refused by the churches in Europe. Presumably this misunderstanding between the two schools of thought led the christians here to build underground city for hiding (from what?whom? - NOTE: this is my understanding of the history as told by Enis our guide. Would gladly welcome a more detailed account from anyone who have more information). So this hiding went on, until, when the Turks came, one of the Ottoman sultans gave them their freedom to come out of their hiding. That is the historical aspect.

Something interesting caught my attention, and as if reading my mind, Enis started to explain about the present people in that area. The few that I saw were elderly looking, and I wondered where the younger people were. It was interesting when Enis pointed out that the people here actually looked older than their real age. This fact was due to the content of the soil being rich in asbestos. So unfortunately, many of the locals here suffer from cancer and age way before their time. How unfortunate for a land so beautiful and breathtaking to turn out deadly for her people. It was a humbling thought for me.

Anyways, continuing on with the sightseeing, we were then herded off to the Onyx Stonehouse to witness some of the most beautiful turquoise gem I have ever seen. It was indeed a gem of a place, pardon the cliche. We were greeted by a friendly man who explained the science of the gemstone. Onyx means nailstone, or scientifically Calcium carbonate. Turquoise, on the other hand, means Turkish stone, a beautifully dazzling blue colour. He went on with his explanations, claiming that turquoise is the only living stone/gem as it changes colour in the earth as it mixes with copper underground. And hooray! when the instructor asked for the colour of copper, I am grateful for my Science background when I was able to answer him correctly. What really thrilled me, was that, for my correct answer I had won myself an onyx ornament - a small turtle replica.

And the, for the very first time in my many years of life, I indulged and pampered myself to a beautiful blue topaz ring and matching pendant. I have never indulged like this before, and it felt good to pamper myself to something so beautiful and exquisite. Unforgettable...
The others too I believe, quite forgot themselves and just helped themselves to their hearts' desire. The beautiful gemstones just simply seemed to bedazzle our eyes.

And to make a beautiful morning perfect, we were then treated lunch at a most interesting, romantic cavern-like restaurant. The ambience was warm and comfortably relaxing with a 3 course lunch, main dish being a real delight to the palate - baked fish. The relaxing atmosphere was further enhanced by the accompaniment of a musician playing to the Arabic/Turkish tunes on his musical instrument.

After a heavy, heady lunch, we were then taken to another place of interest - the Pottery House. All about this in later post. Anyway, here are some more snapshots on our 5th day leg of our expedition to Turkey. And o, by the way, just for your information, the colour of copper? green...hehehe...

entrance to the underground city

the many entrance sites to the underground tunnel - these are us who only hover at the top; Jua and others went in further to explore

Onyx Stone Powerhouse

the instructor greeting us and giving intro to the gemstone powerhouse

"very affordable prices ladies..."

the view of the showrooms

enjoying a cup of apple tea after indulging in gemstone shopping

the onyx turtle that i won...hehehe

lunch awaits at cavern like restaurant - the Uranos Sarikaya.

resting lounge at restaurant

the dining area - a romantic ambience

waiating to be served

being served

spaghetti for starters

and entertained with music
- to the tune of Ali Baba by P. Ramlee

A New Dawn for Malaysia

2008-03-09T16:51:00.008+08:00

Salaam. The 12th general election held on 8th March 2008 beheld unexpected results and outcomes - a real tsunami hitting the political world in Malaysia, the first time that I can remember. A new dawn heralds...

I was awakened by hubby dear who was particularly excited to go out and vote...at around 7.30 am. Myself personally, I was not that enthusiastic; not that I had given up on Malaysian politics, just that I did not want to get upset and disappointed if yet again, the results were just as previous years, with the government party winning with such blatant majority that it seems almost obscene to think that they don't appear to be challenged at all. Inwardly, I would want to see some pressure so that the winning party would not be too comfortable sitting on their laurels that even if they placed a wooden plank as a candidate, the plank would win...

I was more in need for breakfast first. This was the first time my boys would be witnessing Malaysia's general election with a more conscious understanding. They were eager and excited to know what goes on at the polling station. It was like a day of festivity for them, and for me too, come to think of it. I was eager to let the day be an educational one for my boys. I was never as aware about politics when I was 12 or 16, even though Abah, my father, Allah bless his soul was a champion for the political party he devoted his life to. Politics, never meant much to me then.

So, in this excited festive mood, we decided to have breakfast outside. Alas, everywhere in town there was heavy traffic from as early as 9 am. Obviously, other Malaysians too were eager to perform their duties to the state and nation. Still, finally, alhamdulillah we made it to the restaurant for breakfast and then headed off straight to the polling station where both hubby and I were registered.

I watched as my sons observed the goings on around the polling station excitedly. Good! They were being educated. We took them in as far as they could be allowed and then both hubby and I proceeded to register our names with the registration clerk. I was assigned to Room 2. I realised now, that indeed age is catching up on me, now that I have been promoted to Room 2! I understand that the assignments to the respective rooms are based on our birth dates, which means that I am climbing up on the seniority ladder (rueful smile...)

The procedure was as in previous years and in no time, mentioning Bismillah I cast my vote. I had done my duty. I didn't forget though to say a word of prayer that Allah be pleased with my decision and help the party that I vote for to win. I think it is only normal that I wish for the party that I vote for to win, isn't it?

And then we waited...

Personally I did not expect any drastic changes to happen. However, I had my own prayers for my township and my state. I had prayed for the people to be more alert and to vote with a more clear and conscious mind. I feel that it is the people who are responsible to keep the governing party always alert and on their toes, giving them just the right pressure so that they they do not get too comfortable, too complacent, that they can think, anything they decide to do, or any statements they make will be accepted by the masses unquestioningly. This is the new millenia, the old trick of placing fear to gain votes, or by saying things which imply that we the masses are so simple minded no longer applies. I feel that my thoughts on this matter is shared by many others. Anyway, the results of this general election will tell.

After dinner, we rushed off to await the incoming results at big brother's house nearby. It was expected that the results would finally be announced at the latest by midnight. We bought satay and crisps for the late night stay up.

Subhanallah..Allahu Akbar! The results that finally came pouring in were simply beyond what I expected. Mind boggling! It was as if a tsunami wave had hit the political scenario in Malaysia. The silent majority had spoken! Malaysia wants a change...a new dawn for a new Malaysia seems to be the call of the day. People Power was the order of the day! (How is it said in Tamil - Makkl Sakti I think). For the first time as long as I can recall, the government party won without achieving the two thirds majority! Of the 13 states in Malaysia, 5 states were won by the alliance of the opposition party - Penang, Kedah, Perak, Selangor and Kelantan. Interestingly, with the exception of Kelantan, these are all states of the west coast, where we see many big cities and towns. It seems to tell me something. I feel that the people here are more alert and aware of the political scenario in Malaysia, having a clearer picture of the reality of the political world in Malaysia, and with the aid of the electronic media, such as the internet, are able to discuss and debate issues faster and more freely. This results in the majority knowing what they want and finally putting their foot down and voicing what they want. This is a new generation where, I think, the masses look for something more than just the promise of physical comfort, but more for leaders who can walk their talk, who will listen to them, who are genuinely concerned for their welfare, who walk with them, who work together with them to build a better, more morally upright Malaysia.

Some will say what is to become of Malaysia with the new generation now looking as if they are out to oust the older generation. I try to look at it this way...a nation is only alive for as long as it is dynamic in its thinking. This is how history is made, this is what history teaches us. Change is unavoidable if we want to move on. For every generation, it has its own ways. Sayidina Omar once said something to this effect when he advised parents to educate their children according to the latter's time and environment, since our children are not born in our times so they would essentially be different in their views and sentiments. I can safely say this most recent election results have exemplified the truth in Omar's r.a. words.

What is done is done. What is important is that we all learn something from this incident in history. I certainly hope with the discussions hubby and I have with our boys, and what they witnessed on 8th March 2008, that they have learnt something too, and realise the rise and fall of their nation in future lies in their hands, that they will have a role to play as citizens of Malaysia, and cannot afford to stay ignorant or be disinterested. I too learn something, that no matter how we plan and aspire, the Will of Allah dictates. We just have to pray for Allah's guidance and work to achieve our goals with unflinching faith that help from Allah will come, sooner or later. I learn too, that the people is what that makes the nation, and so, should be treated with respect, not taken for granted, or thought of as being incapable of making changes. Allah Knows Best.

The general election this time only shows that their is hope yet for Malaysia and Malaysians. But it calls for a huge effort from all sides, to work together, strive diligently for a better, safer Malaysia, a Malaysia that is more alert and sensitive to the needs of her people...but above all, without God before us, all is vanity...

The Day Before...

2008-03-07T16:49:00.003+08:00

Salaam. Today the midterm school break starts. It has been brought forward 1 day earlier, to make room for tomorrow's polling day. Although I am not that filled with overwhelming suspense, others I know are waiting anxiously. Still, all over, the voting fever is on...
In school I watch not the teachers, (who have been strictly forewarned to remain neutral...or else), but the students who are somewhat excited about the upcoming polling day. I think it is a healthy sign, that youngsters and teenagers nowadays are more alert and aware as to what the polling day means, and as to what the results of the votes constitute to. In classrooms, I overhear opinions and debates going on, refraining to join in the conversations myself and voicing my opinions. Students come up to me and lobby me to vote for this party or that. I say the safest answer, "my vote is private." In one classroom that I entered, I had to make the students rub the notice board which had different party symbols drawn. Trying to remain indifferent, I am inwardly proud and pleased that those youngsters are at least aware that this is a big event. It gives me hope that at least there will be future generations who are aware of the political goings on in this country. Not just the "rempits", and the "grungies".
At home, my own two youngsters I think are more excited than their parents. eager to follow us to the station where we are supposed to cast our votes tomorrow. This will be their first experience, and I am glad they are taking this voting day seriously, and that they have questions of their own. I know they will learn a thing or two tomorrow. I am just glad that my children share their parents views and opinions.
As for hubby and I, we will perform our duties to Malaysia tomorrow Inshaallah. After living for nearly half a century in Malaysia, we believe we know what we want Malaysia to head towards. We hold dear to the saying, it is we, the people who make the nation, it is God who created Malaysia and its people, so this voting for me would mean to fulfill my duty to God and to Malaysia and Malaysians - for our own peace, stability and welfare. May Allah be pleased with my vote.
Good luck to Malaysia tomorrow...and Allah Knows Best.

Unfortunately, truly Malaysian...

2008-03-03T12:54:00.007+08:00

Salaam. It was only yesterday when I posted my post about not having any idea to write on my blog, and suddenly today, something caught my interest. I feel I just have to jot it down here.
Today I went to the Nephro Clinic at TAR Hospital for my routine kidney checkup. I was on medical leave for 3 days last week due to an injury I had sustained recently.
After about 90 mins of waiting, I finally got to see the doctor, and then I headed off to the dispensary to get my supply of medicine for the next 3 months.
So there I was, at 10.55 am, waiting for my turn to be called - 313. A big poster hangs on the wall with these words written, "You will be served at the latest, within 15 mins" in Malay. I decided to time my wait. And you know what? Whenever I am in my waiting mode, either I keep myself occupied with reading, writing or simply watching. This time I chose to watch. I sat right up front and watched as the lady number 312 sat at counter 3 waiting for her medicines. She looked really unwell, in fact she was resting her head on the desktop of the counter whilst waiting. The dispenser, a young lady, quite pretty, was another thing. She was so distracted, talking with her colleagues, and every now and then she would stand up, look up, scan the room and walk around. As a worker myself, I think that is not being too productive, not focused on the job.
Meanwhile, the ladies in the back who do the packaging of the medicines for the different patients, could be seen through the counter window. I watched as one of them does her chore, looking so sullen as she packed the pills and labeled them, then placed the packets of medicines into a small basket and then literally banged down the basket onto the conveyor outside the window to be collected by the dispenser and then distributed to the patient. Such was the atmosphere and scenario behind the counter as I sat and watched.
Since everyone was preoccupied, nobody but I noticed that a packet of the medicine intended for patient 312 had fallen off the basket when the lady behind the window slammed the green basket down on to the conveyor. Unaware, and in her non focused state,the young dispenser simply took the basket from the conveyor and started distributing the medicines to the sickly lady 312. My God! the amount of different medication she was receiving...my stomach got full just looking and thinking of her gulping down all those pills. The dispenser set out giving instructions, totally unaware of the dropped packet of medicines. The poor sickly lady didn't look as is she was even listening.
And then the patient up and left!
Eh...! what about the dropped package? Didn't the young dispenser know that the supply was insufficient? Then she buzzed 313 - me.
As soon as I came up, I couldn't help pointing this out to her. I told her of the dropped package and pointed it out to her. Initially she thought it was my medicines. But I corrected her and said it was for the previous patient. Her answer was what pressed me to post this blog. She smiled her pretty face at me and said,"O well, when she realises her supply is insufficient, she will come back."
Hello...and when will she realise her supply is insufficient? Surely not before she reaches home, if she realises it all. O come on, she was a really sick lady, and she is expected to return in the near future, prior to her next appointment to get her supply, just because one young dispenser was so unfocused on her job, and another was so grumpy banging medicines all over the conveyor? I stay very near the hospital, but I wouldn't be too eager to go to the hospital just for that reason, I assure you. What if the lady stays far away from the hospital? This blunder was so avoidable...had the workers been more focused on their job. And what is worse, it is the poor sick lady who has to pay the price for their negligence/inattentiveness while on the job.
As I walked back to my car, I told myself this incident I must share with my students in school tomorrow. And I wish to add that when we work to serve the public,we owe it to them to give our best, sincere service, not only because we are paid, but more so our actions will have repercussions on others...
I wonder...what if the grumpy lady behind the window had , in her grumpy mood, given the wrong medicine, and what if the young dispenser, in her diffused,unfocused state of mind had given it to the sick lady who was so sick she looked prepared to try anything anyone gives her?
I shudder at the thought.
One thing though, I left with my package of medicines at 11.10 - within the 15 min waiting time, as promised.

Simply no mood...

2008-03-02T18:31:00.004+08:00

What with my fractured ribcage, just can't find the mood to write anything..when you don't feel like it, you know what? ....simply nothing comes...hmmm....sigh...hope to come out of it soon. Inshaallah next week holiday starts, that will be a good time to step up on it again. Inshaallah...

What is happening?

2008-02-10T15:02:00.000+08:00

O my God...it has been quite some time since I last wrote any posts. Really, my work is taking too much of my time. And when Chinese New Year came, I was busy holidaying! Really, I must focus myself back to my blogging.
Let's see...actually I have been quite preoccupied with writing for the short story competition which is due when school reopens this Tuesday. The theme for this year is Thank You Teacher. I pray that I win a place again, preferably first prize. Not so much for the money, but just to boost my confidence in writing. Anyway, win or lose, this blog is where I pour all... so really, I must get back to updating my blog. Inshaallah God Willing, it must be soon...very soon, before I totally lose touch again...

Unforgettable Turkey: Day 5: Cappadocia

2008-01-23T17:22:00.000+08:00

Enchanting Cappadocia - falling in love all over again...

Breathtakingly picturesque, takes my breath away, I am simply enchanted, transported to another world!

So much happening in Cappadocia, that I have decided to break this particular leg of journey into several parts...simply because there is so much to see...to tell...to share..

The four of us rose very early in morning with the high spirits, and high hopes to go on the hot air balloon ride across Cappadocia. Alas, despair awaits us when Enis announced to the 7 of us (us foursome, Hj Kamaruddin and wife, and Toke Tayar), that the winds were too strong for a safe flight. What? Too strong winds unsafe? I would have thought it to be ideal for flying in a hot air balloon. I was to be educated. When the winds are too strong, I am told, it is almost impossible to raise the hot air balloon on air, let alone stopping it from drifting into unchartered territories once the strong wind takes over. Okay, I am enlightened...but still frustrated. Then Enis announced that we would have another try the following day. I remain optimistic.

frustrated balloonist wannabe!

So, once again, it was back to picture snapping around the hotel grounds. The rather barren surrounding and grey December skies did not dampen our photo snapping spirits, until a rather menacing deep growl from the long grass across the hotel brought Jua and I scurrying back to the safety of the hotel grounds.

The hotel in Cappadocia and its quiet surroundings

Breakfast in Cappadocia hotel

The first place of visit here was the to Cappadocia itself - The Valley of Beautiful Horses. We were taken to the Valley of Goreme, where the sight was simply breathtaking. The beauty of the stone carved houses was a sight to behold. Originally built by the Hittites (?), they were then occupied by the Christians in hiding. Pointed chimneys with smoke coming out from the underground homes earned them the name "Fairy Chimneys" by the locals. More popularly known now as Flintstone Houses.

History has it that more than 70 million years ago, there were 3 volcanoes surrounding this area - Egeas, Hasan and Gulu which continually spilled lava ashes and tufa(smoke). In the 20 million years, these ashes settled to become present day Cappadocia. Erosion and rain eventually caused the outer edges of the high plateau to be eroded off leaving valleys with sharp pointed highlands - conical shape mounts more like. This process of outer edge erosion by rain and wind still continue on to this day. Thus it is expected that the present panorama would change yet again over the years to come. But what stands in front of my eyes now was a uniquely, breathtaking view of God's earth...Allah's creation. I let the pictures speak for themselves.

once homes for the hittites, christians, now a modern money making hotel

Enchanting!

once a castle

the village

The effects of outside-in erosion

Valley of Goreme

Flintstone houses

simply thrilled to be here

Valley of Goreme - breathtaking..you gotta be there!

speechless by the magnificent view - Subhanallah!

local pet?

Many more places of interest visited here, to be shared in the next post..

Unforgettable Turkey: Day 4 - Pamukkale - Konya- Cappadocia

2008-01-15T19:06:00.000+08:00

I left a part of me in Pamukkale...

Villa Lycus, Pamukkale

The 6 hour journey from Bursa landed us in Pamukkale, at the Lycus Hotel. Again, the long journey in the bus, made sure my lunch was fully digested, and I welcomed the dinner wholeheartedly.

arrival at Villa Lycus

packed dining space at the hotel

Dawn in front of the Lycus Villa, Pamukkale

Once again, the hotel stay was really more like an overnight stop, just to ensure we had a good night's rest before we proceeded on yet another long journey, this time for 8 hours. But not before a series of excited snapshots early morning after breakfast. First stop, Pamukkale - The Cotton Castle and Hieropolis - The Valley of Heroes. The wintry winds in this area was beginning to sting.

Alas, if there was to be a bad day on this trip, it had to be this morning on my visit to Pamukkale. Firstly, I had worn white skirt only to discover we were going to a wet place. And then, maybe due to all the "greens" that I ingested the day before, topped with trish olive oil, supposedly the finest virgin olive oil, which acted as a first class lubricant, proved too much for my sensitive, delicate tummy. As it turned out, I had to excuse myself from the rest of the gang in desperate search of a toilet. Zura kindheartedly stayed behind with me to accompany me in my moment of peril, even vandalising somewhat the entrance turnstile to allow me exit in the opposite direction. It was indeed an emergency act on her part...for her aunt's sake! Thank you Jua...As it turned out I was to have that 'urgent' problem the whole leg of the day's journey.

the cold, windy, dark dawn - the perfect ingredients for a morning rush to the toilet!

the morning sun peeping shyly through the skies of Pamukkale

eager, excited faces to enter Pamukkale's cotton castle...

Anyways, disaster aside, Pamukkale means Cotton Castle - earning its name from the white sands that dry up from hot white soda springs. Uniquely captivating is the description that first comes to mind as I watch the white hilly terrace interspersed with craters of hot water. This is where I marvel at the Unique panorama it offered, not forgetting the warm waters that flow from the hot springs which everyone took advantage of to heat up their cold limbs. As I lagged behind from the others, I missed all that Enis had to tell about Pamukkale. But what information I managed to eavesdrop from the others was that the hotsprings supposedly had healing qualities. Behold the unique scenery...

the different views of Pamukkale - notice how the winds change the scenery instantly!

The Information Centre within Pamukkale grounds

And then there was the Hieropolis - The City of Heroes. History has it that it was built in the 2nd century by the Roman emperor, King Eumenes II of Pergamon. The relics remain, and under the grey skies I could imagine their warriors marching proudly through the city in full splendour. thier armor shining brightly against the grey skies.

historical images of Hieropolis

After Pamukkale, our journey continued on its way to Konya. By then my white skirt was very damp, and feeling terribly uncomfortable and anxious with my purging problem, I was unable to appreciate the beauty of the surrounding as the bus sped along the fairly quiet highway. I was thankful when we finally stopped for lunch at Dinar, where Mehmet, the assistant guide was kind enough to haul out my suitcase so I could change my skirt to something dry and much more comfortable. We stopped by in a place called Dinar, known once ( and perhaps still is) as an opium city for morphine. Meaning the place is licensed to plant poppy legally for opium.
Also, Enis managed to enlighten us briefly about the earthquake that happened here in 1996, which devastated many lives and destroyed buildings, pointing out that the apartments that could be seen around this place were to compensate for the earthquake victims.

a contented group leaving Pamukkale

majestic views of Turkey en route to Dinar...

stopping over in Dinar for lunch; and a change of clothes -What a relief!

a scrumptious lunch in Dinar...but watching it heehee...

After lunch and prayer, we continued on to Konya, where we visited the Mevlana Celaludin Rummi Museum. I was taken aback at first to see turbans of various sizes placed on what looked like tombs. Some were really huge! I later found out they were really tombs of the dervishes - students of the Mevlana. It was to be understood the bigger the turban/headdress, the higher ranking was the dervish follower. Apart from the tombs, the museum displays a large variety of Islamic artifacts in Turkey - mushaf al Quran from different era, and the box containing the beloved Prophet Muhammad's hair from his bear. A section of the museum, showed what it was like for a dervish apprentice. One gadget that attracted my attention was the sleeping stick, a Y shaped object at the end of a long cane. Anyone wishing to be included into the dervish community/household had to withstand great trials, one of which was the self-imposed deprivation of sleep for 40 days. And so, to help the apprentice stay awake at any time, he would place this particular gadget under his chin to prevent him from toppling over in stupor. Mercy me...

Just as a brief history, Konya was the first city in Turkey to accept Islam, Thus explaining the origin of these dervishes in this city.

View around Mevlana Jamaludin Roomi's mausoleum in Konya - blue plastic covering over shoes

A bit about the Mevlana. Mevlana Jamaluddin Roomi was born in Balk in Afghan. He was the son of a powerful imam, who moved a lot and took his son with him. When his father died, the Mevlana took over his father and educated the people of Konya. He always taught by the power of LOVE and PATIENCE. He was highly respected by the Jews. The Mevlana's principle in life was, in whatever he sees, he sees the beauty of Allah. Mevlana means the Unifier. His speeches were always on unity based on love and compassion. Followers of the Mevlana are called the Dervishes.

leaving Konya and the dervish mausoleum at dusk

It was very late evening that we arrived in Cappadocia. I was only too relieved that the Caravanserai stop tour was postponed to another day. At the hotel, it was all I could do to stay awake long enough to go through dinner, remembering how I would appreciate at that time the Sleeping Stick to help me put up my head just to get through dinner. God bless Cikgu Shida, Ust. Jalani's wife for her diarrhoea medication. It helped stop my purging. A good lesson for me indeed - never leave home without your diarrhoea medication in future...

long awaited dinner in Cappadocia hotel after the long journey

bed...at last!!

Next trip - beautiful Cappadocia...

UnforgettableTurkey - Day 3:- Bursa- Pamukkale

2008-01-13T07:58:00.000+08:00

Day 3: Tour of Bursa

Truly, I find Turkey a place where you can get your money's worth on history, romance, adventure, mystery all rolled in one beautiful package!

the Silk Bazaar - ideal for a romantic rendezvous...breathtaking!

As the previous day, from as early as 6.30, right after breakfast, all members were busy and rigourously snapping photos outside the hotel. All bags were packed and we were ready for our tour of Bursa city, the main attraction being the Grand Mosque of Bursa and the Green Mosque. A little bit of history of Bursa. The city was apparently the last destination of the Silk Route.

Roadsigns in busy Bursa City

Friendly, pretty receptionist at the Carvanserai Hotel

early morning photo snapping session before leaving for tour of Bursa

Thus already a thriving city from that time, Bursa was the first capital of the Turks. The influence of Islam came as early as the 15th century, with the coming of the many strong forces then, like the Seljuks, and later on the Ottoman influence. Alas, being too mersmerized by the fascinating architecture of the ancient mosques, I lost quite a bit of Enis's explanations in those mosques. But the one thing that stood distinctly in my mind was that one of the mosque had many small domes on it. History has it that when one of the conquerors captured Turkey then, he vowed to build twenty domes in Bursa. What he really meant by that was that he wanted to build 20 mosques in and around Bursa. However, later on he discovered that the government had not enough means to build 20 grand mosques. Recalling carefully what he had actually said to his people, he improvised his promise of 20 domes to building mosques with many small domes instead. On later travels, I discovered that many other mosques elsewhere in Turkey had adopted this structural design with many small domes covering the roofs. One more thing that I found interesting was that, although Turkey is strictly secular, one can find mosques almost every 1 km or so along the way. Interesting...

statue of Ibn Sina in middle of the City

The two mosques we visited were both richly historical in their own rights. In the Grand Mosque, we can see a water fountain (not switched on at that time due to the cold season) with a clear open roof right at the top. The significance of that open roof as I understood from Enis's explanation was that if it rains, the rainfall would fall onto the water fountain, and would give a certain therapeutic sound. Also, we were told that the main design for the Grand Mosque had the strong floral influence of the Ottomans. We spent about 20 mins in the mosque, snapping photos as well as performing the solat tahiyat masjid. I was humbled praying at that ancient mosque, and later at the Green Mosque . To think of standing and prostrating in prayer in mosques more than 500 years old, where great muslim scholars and warriors may have once stood where I was praying, was indeed a humbling experience. That awesome feeling stayed with me everytime I prayed at the other mosques as well.

The Grand Mosque Bursa, setting a scenic background

Entrance to the Grand Mosque - winter, time for renovation

Interior of the Mosque - where the therapeutic fountain stands, under renovation

Interior of Grand Mosque, Bursa

Enis giving an insight to the history of Grand Mosque Bursa

Solat Tahiyat Masjid in the Mosque - a humbling experience, by Allah's Grace alone...

The Green Mosque of Bursa on the other hand, was more austere, and older. Austere here I mean it looked more sombre, with not as many of the Ottoman touches. What I understood it had the more military cut of the powerful Seljuks. One interesting point was the ingeniously designed reverse triangle designs which decrate the mosque. Not only were the designs unique, but it was the fascinatingly clever effect of amplifying the sound within the mosque to such an extent that the voice of the imam reciting the suras during the jamaah prayer is bounced back by these reverse triangles and so can clearly be heard by the maamum right at the back row (saf). Advanced technology...and no need for microphone. Fascinating....

The Green Mosque in Bursa

The Ingenious Reverse Triangle design outside and within the mosque

The Green Mosque, Bursa - now you know why it is called the Green Mosque!

Homes in Bursa, viewed from the Green Mosque

Apart from the tour of historical mosques, we also stopped momentarily at the Ancient Silk Bazaaar, once alive with traders frequenting the Silk Route. The existing silk stores were just about opening when we made our way there. Still in awe of the majestic view of the mosque, I wasn't much yet into my shopping mood, just simply walked around admiring the location, which I found had a romantic feel to it, even though the skies were cloudy and the surrounding grey...romantic in a melancholic kind of way I suppose. As usual, Datin and Zura, wasted no time in bargaining for silk scarfs.

Silk Bazaar in Bursa

Inside the Silk Bazaar building

Shopping scarves at the Silk Bazaar

From here we were about to embark on a 6 hour bus trip to Pamukkale. A long drive with 2 stops for lunch and prayer. Most of the time it was between looking at the scenery or sleep for all of us. However towards the evening, Dr. Zainundin decided to make the trip more lively by making each and every expedition member introduce themselves. Dato made good of his introduction immediately gaining the respect from the rest of us for his very friendly style and choice of words...really good sense of humour, but we in the family have always known that. On the whole, it was a good way of breaking the ice amongst us. A good effort POTO, well done indeed!

Stopping for lunch en route to Pamukkalle

Appetisers - a cocktail of salads

Main course - the best kebab ever tasted!

A cheerful group after a hearty lunch

The Ice breaking session after lunch

Next stop - Pamukkalle...

My Poor Baby!

2008-01-13T07:09:00.000+08:00

Salaam. I have committed myself to writing a journal of my expedition to Turkey. But when school starts, I am so swamped by the different school chores, that at times, I just feel like getting out of the profession, despite my great love for teaching. The teaching part, and interacting with the different kinds of students were never the problem. It is always the paper work...and more paper work. I am sometimes made to feel like a clerk, or an office staff, and I wonder if all those paper work are really necessary...or merely to help some big shot way up there look good. Hmm...

Anyway, determined though as I am to proceed with my Turkey journal, which, by the way can only be written during the weekends now, something happened yesterday which compelled me to jot about it first, yet again putting my Turkey post on hold.

You know what, yesterday was really a day of playing "supir", driver for me...constantly on the move hoarding one of the two boys for their different activities. At 12, after sending big brother for his Form 4 tuition, i headed straight to my little boy's school to fetch him from his co-curricular activities, before he rushes off for his tuition class. As I reached his school, a despondent, upset looking Zakiy awaited me. To tell truthfully, he was in fact looking ready to burst into tears. "What now?"

It turned out that he was not pleased with the running of presidential and committee elections for the club he had joined - The Bahasa Arab Club. Last year, he was the Treasurer. Surprisingly, this year he discovered that there were simply too many girls registering into the Club, totally overshadowing the number of male members. My Zakiy was nominated for President, but due to the sheer number of girls, needless to say, he lost the seat to a girl! It turned out, all, except for 2 seats in the committee, were won by girls.

Really, to me it is no big deal - such is the reality of life. But what made my heart go out for my poor baby, is that, unlike big brother, where every post, every rank, every form of acknowledgment is handed to him, almost on a silver platter (I sometimes think he really is living up to his name!), my baby Zakiy, like any other boys, has to work hard, struggle, to make his mark in school. It is understandable that he wants to excel like his big brother, but where everything is a "breeze" to Abang, Adik has to prove his worth all the time...my poor poor baby. He really was aiming for the presidential post since last year, as there were not many members at that time, and he was actively participating and putting his worth for the society. I know he was bitterly disappointed not to even hold a single post this year in the club. My poor baby. To comfort him, I told him he is better off just being an ordinary member, because it can be quite testing to work under a female boss (don't we all experience it at one time or another..)

As a prefect, he is not legible to hold any main post in the classroom committee. He is not outstanding in sports, so really there is only one option open for him right now - to be the Head Prefect. There is no hiding how much he covets that post, following in Abang's footsteps. Professionally, as an educator, taking into account his abilities and experiences compared to his classmates, I think Ahmad Zakiy Mohsin has a chance, he is by far more matured than his peers. He has good communication skills, he has always been in the top 3 students list in class as far as school performance is concerned, he has been an active prefect since Primary 4. The only thing which might be a problem is that, where Abang had the face and the built as a Head Prefect, my baby has a pampered appearance, and the way he talks actually shows he is how shall I put it..."my baby". But I think, the Prefectorial Board should not see that as a setback to him being elected Head Prefect God Willing. Children are fast learners.

It doesn't matter to me in the least to me if he is a head prefect or not, or even if he is a prefect at all. But if that is what he wants, then I will surely support him and his ambition. After all, being a Head Prefect will go far in training him to be a more responsible, understanding Muslim young man one day Inshaallah. I know, Zakiy only wishes to be the best that he can.

And so, my baby, Ummi will pray very hard that your disappointment at not being elected President of Bah. Arab club, will be more than compensated when you get elected as Head Prefect of your school. I will surely pray for you, and should you succeed in getting what you want, inshaallah your big brother and I will always support you and guide you to be the best Head Prefect that you can be. But whatever the outcome, remember, Ummi loves you very much, and I know you are already a leader in your own right, okay, because you are a good Muslim, and a very good, obedient son. So smile now...

Hotel in BURSA - some pictures

2008-01-05T16:47:00.000+08:00

The KERVANSARAY HOTEL BURSA

Just thought it a good idea to lay out some pictures of the hotel in Bursa, before proceeding to relate the events in Bursa. Till now I am not sure of the spelling of the hotel we stayed in. The food from now on were to remain similar - a variety of veggies, soup, and more soup, then bread, to no end of it! Many of the members in the tour group eventually had about enough of it, unable to withstand the monotony of vegetable and blend taste, meaning "tak podeh"!.,and their yearning for rice. I have always liked bread, and I cant quite stand hot, spicy foods, so I wasn't missing out much. Anyway, here are some picturess in and around the hotel...may these pictures refresh my memory of Bursa every time I visit this post in future...

P/s: hey Jua, so far so ok???heeheehee...trying my best mek....

the key chain to room 206 - what a hunk of a key chain; a real whopper...hahahaha

the room - double bedded with sunken mattress

a huge pillar stands as a stigma in the tiny room

with huge pelican ornament as decor....hmmm

the highly appreciated dinner - after the journey from Bahrain

breakfast the next day

morning of Day 3- tour of Bursa; then off to Pammukalle

Unforgettable Turkey - Day 2:Bahrain-Istanbul-Bursa

2008-01-02T08:30:00.001+08:00

off to istanbul - making new memories!

Day 2:
Early morning, after breakfast and a rigorous bout of photo snapping, we departed to Bahrain airport to fly off to Turkey. I was full of anticipation, excited to say the least. At the departure hall, we 'surveyed' the different duty free items on sale (to be realised on our flight back). So anxious was I that at the point of boarding, I misplaced my passport together with my boarding pass. Phew...that was a moment of panic, momentarily putting my excitement on halt.

Datin surveying gifts for her beloved grandchildren

Anyway, flight was as scheduled, around 10 am local time aboard the Gulf Air Flight GF43. Which took us about 3 hours. Alhamdulillah, it was an uneventful flight, and we finally landed at Istanbul at 1305 local time. My watch (with Malaysian timing) showed 1905 - meaning a 6 hour difference from Malaysia. I was to discover that a representative from Renk United was waiting for us, who would eventually be our tourist guide here in Turkiy. True enough, as we checked out of the airport, there was already a rep waiting for us, a young brown haired gentleman, holding the POTO sign upside down!. All 39 of us gathered around him, where he introduced himself as Enis. From then, all of us were herded into the coach and we were off! First destination: To Bursa where we would spend the night there.

arrival at istanbul airport

This time we were just passing through Istanbul (more on Istanbul on Day 7). The journey to Bursa involved a 90 min bus ride, followed by a 30 min ferry ride across European Istanbul to Asian Istanbul (later on this), across the Gemilik Bay, bus and all. It was actually not too far from the airport to the ferry port, but there was quite a traffic as we rushed through its fairly new motorways. One unique sight as we rode along the highway was the people selling bottled drinks, fruits and even bread on the middle of the highway itself! It made me realise that as beautiful as Istanbul is, life is difficult for some, anywhere on God's earth. My heart went out to the young men, braving the cold weather, and risking their lives on the busy motorway to earn a living - meagre one it must be.

glimpses of Istanbul, as we pass by the city

busy traffic on sunday afternoon in Istanbul

youngsters selling bread & bottled drinks on busy Istanbul highway

It was getting dark there by 4 pm, and the mild weather I first experienced upon landing at Istanbul airport became bitingly cold as the wind rushed through us on the moving ferry. Seemingly tame seagulls fly by the ferry, so at first many of us braved the wintry winds but finally it just got too strong for all our zeal and excitement. Certainly the trenchcoat I brought with me could not withstand the cold wintry winds. Thank Allah, there was a cafetaria on the first deck, where I could really, at that moment, appreciate a cup of hot turkish tea. It turned out that the Turkish people dont take their tea with milk, which I was not prepared to accustom myself with...the tea was too thick!

aboard ferry crossing over to Bursa

dusk at istanbul - viewed from ferry; with seagulls speckled skies

having tea aboard the ferry

nothing like hot cuppa tea to warm out the chill

Dato' in the ferry cafetaria

Getting off the ferry 30 mins later, we continued our journey for a further 90 mins to reach Bursa. Bursa is a an old city, known to be the last stop for the Silk Road traders. Henceforth it became the first capital of Turkiy, renowned till today as the major city for the fabric industry in Turkiy. Our journey for today ended at the Caravansaray Hotel, right in the heart of Bursa city. Tomorrow we shall visit places of interest, my personal interest, the mosques of Bursa, before we head off to our next destination. But before that, more pics at and around the hotel ...next post ok!

arrival at Bursa Hotel - the Caravansarai

Unforgettable Turkey - Day 1, Bahrain

2007-12-31T18:51:00.000+08:00

The Marine Tower, Bahrain - 1st stop!

8/12/08 Day 1, On board Gulf Airlines, flight GF281:
Suddenly, almost unbelievably, I find myself on Gulf Air, flight 281 - on my way to Bahrain. Goodness, I was momentarily stunned. What am I doing, I thought to myself as I kissed my little baby Zakiy, already missing him as I said my goodbyes. I don't know what lies ahead, I can only pray that this will be a momentous journey in my life, one that is unforgettable. I have always had my eyes on Turkiy, especially the Blue Mosque, and finally I am travelling that bit closer to making my dream a reality.

As I fly thousands of miles above, way up in the skies, I am feeling a bit upset that my boys are not coming with me, with a tinge of regret that hubby dear would not support one of them. Alas, I guess there is wisdom in everything that happens in our life. Maybe my being away from home, for a holiday on my own after twenty three years of marriage, I can consider as taking time out. Maybe too, that a short lapse of time without ummi will bring some good to the boys...and hubby too.

We arrived at Bahrain airport as scheduled, around 3 pm local time. Will be staying overnight here, before we head off to Turkiy. I took the second coaster trip to hotel. We were going to stay at the Marine Tower, a sort of water front hotel. By the time we reached the hotel it was late evening, so then it was not the time to do much sightseeing and photo snapping. (Note: about Bahrain, read my post on Bahrain - last leg of journey). On route, I can see that Bahrain is a beautiful kingdom, but still with the familiar brown desert soil, typical of arab countries like KSA or Jordan. At the airport,t alhamdulillah, the wait through immigration did not pose much problem, Dr. Zainundin, as our group tour leader from POTO, seemed to handle the paperwork smoothly.

However, much to my frustration, there was no Celcom compatible lines, compared to other phone service. Hubby had activated the IDD line earlier on at KLIA. The other communication lines already had strong reception upon landing. Hmmm...must let hubby know about this, considering he is attached to TM.

Then zakiy called, he had to call through Zura's number, and then got cut off. My poor baby...I could sense he was missing me actually. But still no reception on my phone. Luckily, and alhamdulillah, the comfortable hotel accomodation and the pleasant meal served made up somewhat for my consternation. It had already been arranged that throughout this trip I would be bunking with Zura. All praise be to God, although she is my niece, and a renowned Malaysian novelist, and although it seemed a millenium ago that we ever slept under the same roof, we hit it off just as we did all those years before. For that I am thankful to Allah, that I had this chance to get to know my niece again, a chance for us to rebond, so to speak. But above all, thank Allah, she is still just as "whacky" as I am, we seem to click well, laughing at the same jokes and all. Dato and Datin always had a room near to us, which is comforting to me as far as I am concerned. As for Datin, there was never any doubt in my mind, having her around would always promise some good laughs together.

Anyway, after dinner, I went straight to bed but was rather rudely awakened by the music from the disco somewhere within the hotel premise. Hmmm...so much for being an arabic country! Unable to resume sleep, I tried once more to check my phone line. The line was Batelco. Aaaah...finally! Messages started to come in, and finally, I got to call home, talk to hubby dear, big boy Ashraf and baby Zakiy. Thank you Allah, now I am more in the mood for my Turkiy expedition. Signing out...for now!

Zura at Bahrain immigrations

waiting for coaster to the hotel

the room which I share with Zura- pleasant room

breakfast with dato n datin - don't they take hot drinks? u have to ask for it!

typical scene of middle east country -brown sandy soil

Unforgettable Turkiye (Turkey) - Intro

2007-12-31T04:32:00.000+08:00

the formidable foursome...heeheehee...

Unforgettable POTO Turkiy Group:8/12/07-18/12/07

Salaam. On 8/12/07, I left my hubby and two precious boys, and boarded the Gulf Air Flight GF 281 - I was on my way to Turkiy! And when I returned 10 days later, 18/12/07, someone asked me how was my trip. I gave an answer which surprised even me; I said "Fabulotastic!" And you know what? I knew then, I had to share it here in this blog; if not for anyone else, then for my personal musings for a long time to come....share with me...
That Saturday morning, the whole family sent me off and we left home at 7.45 am, stopping first to have breakfast near Mak's house. My luggage was neatly carted off into the booth, the new suitcase with its 4 wheels (for easy lugging around on my own), looked bulky, already full with warm clotihing I had packed for the cold wintry weather in Turkiy, not forgetting some emergency food supply just in case I needed them.

at KLIA airport

the sending off committee

I was the first to arrive at the airport. When I say the first, I mean that I was travelling as a foursome: my brother in law, Datuk Prof. Dr Razak, aka B. Seh; my older sis, Datin Razmah, aka K. Mah; my niece Zura, aka Aisya Sofea and I. So, I hung around at Counter K, level 5 of the airport which was the appointed meeting point. Eventually, someone from the group came, having recognised me by my POTO handluggage. Later she was to be known fondly as the "Tauke Tayar" from Selayang.

Dato'

Datin

Aisya Sofea

All in all, plus the tour leader and his wife, there were 39 of us, the oldest being Mak Bee, around 70 her age is I think, and the youngest, Nabil, 10.

Keep posted. From here, I managed to jot down my posts on my PDA phone on a day to day basis throughout the trip. Read on....

got tagged

2007-12-30T12:12:00.000+08:00

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night. my baby

2. What were you doing at 0800? Sleeping, before the school starts and i m deprived of this rare privilege

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? answering phone call from one of my students

4. What happened to you in 2006? went for umrah with the family, my brothers, sis in law and nephew...unforgettable !

5. What was the last thing you said out loud? AHMAD ZAKIY...looking at his sleepy face as he woke up from sleep

6. How many beverages did you have today? so far, only plain water

7. What color is your hairbrush? blue all this while, now pink

8. What was the last thing you paid for? The boys' KFC lunch yesterday, abah went to wedding in KL, I attended Intan's wedding.

9. Where were you last night? at home, as usual

10. What color is your front door? wooden door, colour of wood

11. Where do you keep your change? All over the house. my niece likes to call my house a treasure cove...finders keepers i told her once hahahah

12. What’s the weather like today?just nice for an outing with the family

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? any ice-cream is BEST....

14. What excites you? anything told to me excitedly and anything about my passion in life - writing, books, education, family and biology

15. Do you want to cut your hair? a must before i start work again

16. Are you over the age of 25? waaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy past...

17. Do you talk a lot? only with ppl very close to me

18. Do you watch the O.C.? what's OC?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven? yes

20. Do you make up your own words? yes, only known to close family members

21. Are you a jealous person? unfortunately yes

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. Aniza/ali

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Khalijah/kamal

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? today? naquib

25. What does the last text message you received say? "congratulations on your son's success - take care always"

26. Do you chew on your straw? nope, never i think

27. Do you have curly hair? confidential

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? aisya sofea's place today, next vacation - umra/egypt inshaallah

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? BUSH!!!!

30. What was the last thing you ate? nasi lemak sotong

31. Will you get married in the future? Already married

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? War of the Worlds - actually, that is the ONLY movie i have watched in the last month or so...

33. Is there anyone you like right now? of course! all those close to me

34. When was the last time you did the dishes? 1 hour ago

35. Are you currently depressed? nope - the turkiy trip detoxed me hehehe

36. Did you cry today? no, alhamdulillah

37. Why did you answer and post this? someone was kind enough to think of me, so cant really disappoint her, can i?

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey:
Noble One
Par Excellente
Mummy Daniel and Dania
myaisyasofea
smartdoctor

Aaahh...He did it Again!

2007-12-28T02:52:00.000+08:00

Salam, its 3 am, 28/12/07. I have returned from Turkiy for exactly 10 days now. Supposed to put down some detailed posts about my trips with all the interesting snapshots to accompany. But...i had to hold on first..till yesterday, 27/12/07...when the PMR results were announced.
And you know what??? My beloved big boy, AHMAD ASHRAF ILMAN B. ZULBAHRI. aka The Noble One...he did it again!!! Alhamdulillah...all praise be to Allah Almighty, that oustanding son of mine scored 9A's for his PMR exams. What can I say...CONGRATULATIONS my son...you deserve it! Well done!!!

I am elated of course. I had confidence for all his subjects..but wavered a bit over his Science...of all the subjects...oof (considering ummi teaches Science form 3). We arrived at SMIK early, hoping to catch the results as soon as possible so that I could rush back to my school to deliver my students results. Alas, it took forever. And the longer we waited, the harder the butterflies 'flew in my stomach'....the suspense was killing me! To score 8As would have been great and acceptable to most students, BUT not for my poor Ashraf. The whole clan was practically expecting straight As from him, nothing short would do. For a moment, I wondered what was actually the pressure I was feeling - to watch the disappointment if he failed to score straight As...or to conjure up plausible explanations to my kith and kin if he fails to measure up to expectations. Anyway, thanks to Allah, i was spared of that "unthinkable" scenario. Phew...

As if pressure from the clan was not enough, when the results finally arrived, all his friends, (and their parents too), waited for him (accompanied by ummi) to take his results first. Even the school was confident he would score straight As and was assuming so...pressure upon pressure for both mom and son. But Allah is Great, Ashraf was able to deliver...what was expected of him. And I am not ashamed to say, I am one Damn Proud Mom today...grinning from ear to ear. He has proven himself worthy of being named The Noble Knowledgeable One. (Tak sia-sia aku menaruh impian tinggi dengan memberi nama itu...) I am sooooo proud of you son.

And so, on the very same day, just to show our appreciation, hubby and I returned to the computer store which we surveyed exactly a week ago, to fulfill his request should he get straight As - a laptop for him to carry around for his designs and bloggings. Just as he has brought great pleasure to both Ummi and Abah, we felt we should not delay his pleasure too. So now he is the proud owner of an Acer Travelmate laptop! But rules remain...his curfew hours for computers still applies.

Many relations asked, "what did the mother feed him for him to perform excellently?" I just smiled, but now in this blog, allow me to answer that question. Upon reflection, I want to say that the main "nutrient" he received was unconditional love from us, and the constant feeding into his mind that he is our son, he is special with special talents and that he could do whatever he sets his mind to do. We gave him the faith and the confidence..for we truly believe in his abilities. The constant reminder we gave him that the mind was a gift from Allah, it is his responsibility to nurture and sharpen it. The endless reminder that as his parents we would surely support him all the way, in any way we can...but finally it is he alone who will be entering the examination hall. Anybody can succeed, as long as he wants it strongly enough. Take one step towards God, and He will surely come much closer to you. That has always been our advice to Ashraf.

And so, closes another chapter of his young life. Another hill successfully climbed, another obstacle victoriously overcome. Other hurdles await, the nearest would be his SMA, and then the SPM exams. Our advice still stands, our rules and regulations for study discipline on him still apply. And Ashraf knows them well. I can say, much to my relief, he is looking forward to his new upcoming challenges as a Pure Science student, inshaallah. Alhamdulillah, as he lies on his bed asleep now, I know that to a certain extent, I have instilled the love of learning in my big boy..not only for the sake of exams, but for the sake of the knowledge from Allah itself. He is excited about learning add maths, biology physics and chemistry, already accepting that learning these subjects and scoring, would be quite a phenomenal task. But i can see, he is taking it in his stride, and I am determined to back and support him all the way.

I am proud of you, son! Those tears you saw this morning, were tears of gratitude to Allah that He has bestowed upon me a fine young man for a son, in the likes of you, AHMAD ASHRAF ILMAN!

I'm On My Way Now...

2007-12-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

Havent had my hands on this blog for some days now. Just too busy preparing for my 10 day Turkey trip. Yup...on my way now, inshaallah Turkey here i come.
It has always been my dream/ambition/wish to go to Turkey and visit the Blue Mosque. If i get this wish come true, then that will be 2 out of 3 "most desired place" i would hv visited; the first being Masjid-al-Haram of course. The travel agency officer says its winter time - double bonus for me...
There is only one snag to this upcoming trip of mine - i am going alone; meaning the boys are not coming with me. The trip costs me rm4318.00, all expenses like ticket fare, accomodation n meals included. It has been many years since I have been in 'winter season', so had to get myself some appropriate winter clothing, then my passport had less than 6 months before it expires. All in all, preparation alone plus converting some cash to USD, cost me an added rm5000. Whatever meagre amount left, is enough only to take zakiy with me. I asked hubby dear if he could support big brother ashraf....simply put he said, "NO!" and he added, one boy doesnt go, then both dont go. What can I say...
So, some may question, why do i want to visit Turkey atall,on my own at that too, when the family is not coming along? Leaving my boys behind? Still i want to go?
I have asked this question myself, and you know what, I must honestly say my answer is I WANT TO VISIT THE BLUE MOSQUE. It has been my wish from as long as I can remember..and now the opportunity presents itself. Perhaps if i hold on now, and save more, then maybe I can take my children along with me, I say to myself, without having to ask from hubby (i try to be as self reliant as possible). But with my condition, I often ask myself will i ever get the chance in future? my blood pressure,my kidney function and cirrhosis are all under control now, i feel fine right now..but i often ask myself, for how long before the cirrhosis decides to make its presence felt - the symptoms to show up. I want to visit the Blue Mosque in Turkey...
I am only a teacher's daughter. I learn from early on in my childhood, you want something, then work for it. I love traveling, I love reading good books, those two things were not easy to come by then. I learn that i must be self reliant, and at that time when I was a littl child, you want to have money, then have a good paying job, you want a good job with a good pay, study hard, do well in exams, get into university, then you will get a good job. Alhamdulillah, ala kulli hal, Allah has blessed me with all this, with all the added bonuses which I am forever thankful for. So, I get a job which helps me make travelling affordable. And i want to travel to see the Blue Mosque.
It is unfortunate my boys cant come with me, the trip would surely have been that much more fun if they came along - just to see their excitement would have been rewarding in itself I am sure. But as it is, they cant come, and i cant just take one of them..they are part of two. I am sorry boys, but I hope you guys will understand why I have to do this...this is a part of my life I want accomplished, before...before whatever the future holds for us we do not know... and I know you guys wont mind. And yes, we'll start saving for spain and morocco, i know you guys dont want to miss out on that... just pray that my "project" works okay...that can speed up a bit our savings guys...Inshaallah.
I can only guess what my siblings are saying, but this is something I Want To Do - for myself. God Willing, in future I will go with the boys... on other trips.
So, if all is well, inshaallah, this Saturday, 8/12 i will be On My Way to Turkey, making stop at Bahrain en route. Whatever, all praise be to Allah, Alhamdulillah, for giving me the means n the opportunity...if all goes well, it will be another of my wishes/prayers that Allah has yet again answered...alhamdulillah. I now pray that the trip will be a safe and enjoyable one, one that will remain in my memories for all times.
By the way, Datin sis Hajjah Razmah, and hubby, Dato Prof Dr. Hj Abd. Razak and niece, Hanizura Jamaludin, will be coming as well. I look forward to an enjoyable, adventurous trip with you guys...
So till the next post, inshaallah....

Fun time, the holidays are back!!!

2007-11-22T08:01:00.000+08:00

zakiy the oil rigger

ashraf - heat scan image
ashraf n his dad on cabin 5 of Eye on Malaysia
Zakiy n Ummi on cabin 5 of Eye on Malaysia
Zakiy, Ashraf n their dad-background is the Eye on Malaysia
at Petro Sains - my boys the palaentologists?zakiy the archeologist
zakiy the astronaut...
ashraf - before the heat scan - dari jauh, like Harry Potterlah!

on our merry way to petrosains gallery...
the impressive petronas twin tower, kuala lumpur
zakiy, th f1 driver..he made it!!!
ashraf n zakiy, in the dinosaur's lair...
petro sains gallery this is what that first greets you..mr T- Rex himself! siap 'rap'lagi!

Aaaahhh...finally! my little boy Zakiy finally got his chance to visit the PetroSains at KL suria. We left early saturday morning, 17/11/2007, as soon as the holidays started. I have been there before, and I am glad that the gallery did not stay static. There were changes, and another subgallery - The Petro Speed was something new to me too. Hubby dearest, as usual, just sent us. He did not want to participate in our adventurous mood-well its his loss...

At petrospeed there was a game which i found very interesting. It was the Mind Ball. You know what? It is a game where you direct a small ball into your opponents goal post - just by the will of your mind. A kind of electrode? i suppose, is placed on your forehead, looking like you are wearing a bandana, n then by sheer control of your mind, you "will" the ball into your opponent's goal. It is all about brain activity wavelengths actually....your ability to bring yourself into a state of being in total control, totally relaxed, and you do that by getting your alpha and theta brainwaves under your control. Why should this kind of scientific game be included in the PetroSpeed gallery you think? Well, much of the success to F1 races, have a lot to do with the driver's frame of mind, his ability to stay calm and cool on one of the fastest race track ever, his ability to set his mind on a mission; hence the mind ball practice.

And you know what? I won both challenges i took with big boy, Ashraf...much to my joy! I lost my concentration for a moment with baby Zakiy (well...its understandable you will agree, if i say we always lose out to our youngest darling...heheheh...)But on the second challenge, I managed to put my 'winning' cap back on, and needless to say, i won, yet again. Ashraf is NOT SATISFIED. He blames it on his having a cold, which distracts his focus. I say...this proves one thing significant....MOM KNOWS BEST,MOMS ARE COOL...you moms out there rejoice..i have defended the SUPERIORITY of our species...hahahahah (boy, am i enjoying sweet victory or what?). Ashraf..jangan mare haa.....

From KL Suria, we went to see and eventually ride on "Eye On Malaysia"....big deal. It was an exciting thought, to ride on a huge Ferris Wheel for an aerial view of KL city. Unfortunately, it wasnt so aerial, at least to me. The view of KL from KL Tower is by far more impressive. We were supposed to do 4 rounds but lucky..or unlucky us...we went to as many as 8 rounds...by the 3rd round i was like begging to get out!!! Nothing great...for those who have not gone there, my personal opinion is...just turn a blind eye to it...

Anways, here are some pics for sweet remembrance. At the end of the day, the 3 of us, ahsraf, zakiy and I have decided to return to PetroSpeed sometime soon - just for a rematch of the mindball game.... just for the petrospeed gallery, rm 5 for adults, rm2 for under 12. It will take about 1 hr to enjoy yourself in that gallery. I recommend it...with your children....salaam, cheerio...

yet another year passes by

2007-11-16T00:03:00.000+08:00

mom, 4 big brothers(by 2006, only 3), 5 big sisters and a younger sis -where it all started!

at sg. tua
in jeddah
in mekah

in sumatera - lubuk sikaping
in sumatera - my ancestor's museum - Imam Bonjor museum
in sumatera - at the line of earth's equator
in aquaria petronas twin tower
celebrating eid ul fitr -the big boy, ashraf, the hubby, zul, me, the ummi, the baby, zakiy

in cameron highlands
in cameron highlands
in madinah
in langkawi

at the highest peak in langkawi

The present - muslimah, wife, mom, teacher, writer (inshaallah), happy transplant patient

enjoying life and thanking God everyday

in Wales
at home sweet home then..tmn sri andalas klang

in Grantham Lincs, UK

younger days, living on my own, with kidney failure and 'in days of ignorance'

You know what? On 14th November I celebrated yet another birthday in my passage in time. I share this date with the late Mr. Jawaharlal Nehru and Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales, 2 very well known dignitaries. Well I guess I must have something great in me too then, hehehe..

I guess I dont have that much years left in me, I reckon I have lived out most of my life, considering my 1 transplanted kidney, my hypertension, and my recently diagnosed liver cirrhosis. No problem there with me, when it is time to go, you just go...

But really I am not complaining. I have lived a wonderful life...wonderful in the sense there have been many experiences that I feel not many have gone through. I have looked death in the eye when I was terminally ill with renal failure, but God has been gracious and I am now enjoying a second chance to life..a good life mind you.

I have experienced excruciating heartache and heartbreak when I was forced to terminate my very first born due to my failing kidneys then. Till now, mention or even memory of my first born, dearest Abdullah, will touch a raw spot and it still hurts, even though the years have dulled it somewhat.

I have been privileged to go out, be on my own from the very tender age of 12 when I was selected to study in a boarding school, Sek. Men. Sains Selangor Cheras KL and then overseas to the UK, from Grantham to Salford. Leaving home from that tender age pushed me to be resilient and more self reliant. I learn to make decisions on my own, forced to learn from my own mistakes, widen my worldview. All these contribute to the person I am within me today.

I have been honored time and again to witness the true meaning of love, and countless encounters to appreciate God's love direct upon me. My sister, Oni showed me exactly what the word selflessness means when she gave me one of her kidneys, to which I owe her my life today. My hubby Zul, showed me the practical meaning of being patient in times of adversity when i was severely ill. For that I am grateful to him. The love of God has saved me numerous times from making mistakes in my life which if not for His love and Guidance, would have given me many regrets. He has blessed me with two beautiful, intelligent, and obedient sons, which make up a lot for the loss of their previous two older siblings. Ashraf and Zakiy you guys are the apples of my eyes, my right and left arm!

God has blessed me with my ever loving brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews ( and now grand nephews n nieces), so many good friends, numerous students over the years of my career as a teacher who accept me as I am, my strength, my weakness together. My life is blessed by their love and friendship

So cirrhosis or not, hypertension or otherwise, I must say my life is good, all praise be only to Him. I am so blessed, and that makes me abundant. What therefore remains of my time on earth, please dear God, let me spend in the worship of YOur Greatness, let me spend in the service of man, spreading the Word of God and spreading love that He bestows in abundance in my heart and in service of this mother earth in the education of my students to be responsible for what they do here on earth.

For the years that I have lived on this earth, and for all that remains, I thank you O God, for I am truly blessed and Guided.

Finally all that I ask for now is the Husnul Khatima, the best of all ends, the pardoning of all sins by God and a place in His Paradise, my final abode...

MY WITTY, EXCELLENT SON!

2007-11-11T09:49:00.001+08:00

zakiy n dad - 2nd trip to madinah -2006
akiy, big bro, and ummi in cameron highlands -2006
baby zakiy - 1st birthday!
zakiy, par excellent- school sports
"anak ummi" with ummi, mekah 2006

HE was born at 11pm, on Tuesday, the 11th day of the 11 month...and today he turns 11! My cute handsome charming baby (i can say all this, after all, he is MY son) - AHMAD ZAKIY MOHSIN, The Witty, Excellent One.

How shall I describe him? Where his brother is more serious, deliberate young man, my baby is best described as a very social, friendly person, easy to talk to and make friends with, not forgetting cheeky...his presence brightens up this house, anytime...

Unlike with Zakiy's elder brother, hubby dear and I did not bother much about looking for a name for him, plus the fact that we never knew his sex right till the day he was born. But I had previously discussed with his dad that since big brother already has a name which means intelligent/learned, I would like this little one to be excellent/one who does good deed/doing well. So we ended up with Ahmad Zakiy Mohsin..and how he is living up to his name thus far...Zakiy means witty...o u can count on my baby to be witty! He is the apple of my eye true to the meaning of that phrase. Where my elder son would say Ummi is sweet, he would say I am enchanting (menawan..his exact words). A real flirt he is...how much more witty could a mom like me ask for...i smile every time i remember it.

And I can surely count on him anytime to help me around the house - to wash the dishes, to help me push off the water on our front porch after it rains, and of course to make my hot tea or cold vico...I can count on Zakiy to do it.

One thing about my boy, my baby...he is so down to earth. He will always introduce himself as the less smart son, big bro being the smarter one. And he believes he has a history to prove it. For all i can recall, i think Zakiy is the first youngster to be expelled from kindergarten!! for failure to count beyond the numeral 3! Well, personally, the problem was not my son, it was the school's inability to accomodate a smart child like my baby! Parents take note: check out thoroughly if the kindy you wish to register your child in has the ability to accomodate multiskilled children. I registered him to UMMI's Kindergarten - meaning i started to train him myself, and true enough, within a week he was up to the numeral 100! and the school said he had learning problems - as if!! Parents take note: always believe in your children's abilities and talents...they may seem too deeply buried initially, but they are there...trust me!

His fast witty comments have always been evident. Once his cousin who was then a univ undergraduate was attending an interuniversities function. So she said it was time for her to "pasang badan", hoping to meet some smart good looking undergrad i presume. Out of the blues, my little zakiy who heard her saying that, interjected,"kenapa? selama ni kak ....jalan bawak kepala saja ke?" much to my hilarious suprise! He was only 3 or 4 at that time.

Well my baby is 11 today...he is much much taller, eating more now, and has gained several kilos much to my delight, and he is nowhere a problem learner or child. He is a school prefect, he conducts the school assembly from time to time, he scores strings of As in exams...he is obedient to his duties to Allah and us, he is my beautiful handsome son, and I am so proud of you Zakiy! And I want you to know my baby, that even if I live till you reach 60, u can count on a kiss on your cheek from your ummi every single day. You are my sunshine, you are my smiles, and when i grow old, tired and weary, i know i can rest my head under your roof. Happy Birthday my darling baby! I LOVE YOU AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, AND WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD OF YOU!

Bummer...

2007-10-24T18:40:00.000+08:00

Aaaahhh..so many happenings...dont know where to start!!!
I will go for the latest...did u know yesterday morning, on my way to school, i had an accident?? yes..albeit a minor one. But....the events that followed it is one i shall remember for a long long time...
Just after the Southern Park exit, amidst the heavy morning traffic, a green proton wira aeroback bumped into my 5 day old perodua Viva! O..the sheer frustration at having your brand new car bumped into...(itu satu hal...). It gave me quite a jolt, to hear the clanging of metals. Regardless of the rain, I pulled over to the bus stop nearby, looked behind, expecting the driver to follow suit. Of all the nerve..the driver, a malay lady i think in her late twenties...had the audacity to just shake her hands, boldly indicating nothing was wrong with my car, and simply drove on, leaving a bewildered and puzzled me!!
Since it was raining, and the traffic jam was quite heavy, all i could do was watch her pass me by, and then i drove on. From where I was, I could see her switching lanes, from the third to the second, and then tried unsuccessfully to go to the first. My thoughts were she was probably trying to escape me. Well... I wasnt chasing her, how could I?
But Allah is Great! While she was stuck in the second lane, simpleton me and my viva in the third lane kept on moving slowly until I was actually beside her. I hurriedly unwind my windscreen ( is that what its called?) n shouted at her, "Apa cerita ni?". Her companion beside her, another malay lady, shouted back on her behalf, "Takde apa-apa...takde calar pun" , and then they simply drove off again at the roundabout to Klang. The nerve of that perpetrator!!!
I called hubby dear, only to hear his sighs and lamentations, so i quickly added that the driver said there was no scratch to the new car ( I must emphasise on the word new...how frustrating...) but hubby dear told me to check the back once i reached school.
Which I did...the lady was right...there was just the slightest of peeled paint...but THE WHOLE OF THE LEFT BUMPER WAS MISALLIGNED!!!!! Which she would have totally failed to observe, loking on from the comfortable position she was in...in her car! Later on, when i tested opening the booth, a screw from somewhere actually dropped off. My poor new car...it felt like a tooth had dropped off it...
Its not so much the minor accident that shook me. It was the sheer irresponsible attitude of the driver..and what makes it feel worse to me, she was of my sex and my race.... and how sad..I am sure of my faith too, a fellow muslim! I am not an insensible person, I believe the accident is what it was - accidental. But not to have the courtesy to pull over and apologise or to try to pretend to be the slightest remorseful..that is something that I totally fail to understand. And to my eyes, that makes her a damned criminal! A shameless Malaysian, a lowly lady, an errant muslim! No manners!!! BOth she and her companion...
I was still slightly breathless when i recounted the incident to my colleague in school and when she asked me if the driver had shouted an apology during our very brief exchange of words, it was only then that i realised her vulgar attitude - confidently n boldly shouting out that there was nothing wrong with my car, but not bothering to even say "sorry!". If she is a parent, well..she is bound to raise a brood of arrogant, shameless, deceitful brats...simply because she obviously lack those noble values to raise noble, well mannered children!
Thank God, I did not lose my cool when the accident occured. In that short span of time, I managed to memorise her plate number. I also managed to trace from my valuable informant, the owner of the car, a male name, and his identity card number, presumably the husband of the rude, reckless driver!
Well, owner/driver of green proton WJC 5025, I know at least who that car belongs to, I know your address...and for your information I have made a police report that very morning, Tuesday, 23/10/2007, at 9.00 am, precisely 1 hour 45 mins after you hit my car, and then arrogantly drove away.
YOu may have escaped me, you may probably even escape the police, but you know fully well what you did hasnt escaped Allah! And since you did not deem it important to talk and discuss with me right after the accident, with your arrogant, rude behaviour, you left me no choice but to bring my frustration to Allah. And I am of firm faith, that Allah listens to those who have been abused...not so much by the physical accident, but by your rudeness and sheer bad manners. So, I believe Allah will mete out a just treatment for you too...Good luck!!!
So, if any one of you out there in the universe, knows this lady (fellow teacher?), send my good luck wish to her...you can say she needs it...for i rest my case in the hands of God. And there is no saying what the reckoning of God will be...

after some time

2007-10-06T10:30:00.000+08:00

Salaam!
Indeed...after sometime i finally managed to get down to checking my blog again. Its always a nice surprise to see that someone has browsed through my blog and added a comment or two. I think everyone with a blog can understand that excited feeling we get when we know someone else has read our posts and interested enough to make comments.
I believe i have not entered any post since the start of Ramadan...an you know what? this auspicious month is almost over. Its 24th Ramadan today. Ashraf's PMR exam has come and gone...inshaallah i can only pray he will get what is deserving of him - but we are both worried about his Science Paper 2. Both of us cried with worry. Silly us...
Ah yes... now i remember why i was also distracted from sending in a new post. The hot weather in this fasting month has caused me to suffer some set back due to dehydration. But alhamdulillah i m ok. Everything that befalls us is a learning experience, right?
I also finally did something which i now realised i have not done for some time als0 - visit the bookstore ... and actually buying a book. My colleague, Mr. Radha had recommended me a book that he said would be a good read, The Power of Your Subconcscious Mind, by Dr. Joseph Murphy. I did not get the book, but i found another instead. I have watched the book being discussed in the Oprah Winfrey show and it sounded to me at that time...well..readable, and aroused my curiousity somewhat. At the bookstore, i browsed through the book, and thought "o well, i can part with RM 60.00 to find out what this book has to say." But the truth is i am always a victim of my own curiousity. I just wanted to know what the secret is. So i am now the proud owner of "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne.
And now...all i can say is the book is worth every cent i put in!!! The secret finally revealed to me, is so simple in its truth, that i decided to try it out immediately. Mashaallah, all praise be to God...the simple truths which i tried to follow actually work! It is all about law of attraction and how like attracts like. Some powerful words in the book too. Feeling that just reading the book is not enough, i surfed its website: www.thesecret.tv and downloaded the secret movie online. I was really motivated, and inspired, to say the least. Motivated enough to get me writing this post in my blog.
So now, I shall try to practice the secret and basically, what it entails is already in the teachings of Islam i feel, as the law of attraction is basically a law of the universe. I truly recommend this book to everyone. It is quite an eye opener, and i believe, if you are looking for "goodness", you will find out how in this book.

in honor of friendship...

2007-09-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with,

never say a word, and then walk away

feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had

to the world you may be one person,

but to one person, you might be the world

True friends are two people who are comfortable

sharing silence together

Keep love in your heart,

A life without it is like

a sunless garden when the flowers are dead

REMEMBERING MY FRIENDS, MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS...OVER ALL THE YEARS...THOSE WHO HAVE COME AND GONE...AND THOSE WHO STILL WALK BESIDE ME,THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP...AND LOVE...

just suddenly thinking of rose, azland, maulud tonight...may Allah bless their souls...ameen

if inshaallah my effort is realised, it is in memory of you guys...

After the Fun and Laughter

2007-09-01T04:34:00.000+08:00

Salam. Another Merdeka Day Celebration has come and gone...merdeka!merdeka!merdeka? I look around me..i look at what was shown on TV and i ask myself....merdeka? What from? the chains of "penjajahan asing?" I have never seen more "rempits" and "hiphoppers" and what have you than on that night!!!! What are we free from actually?
Dont misconstrue my laments here as being ungrateful. I love my country just as anyone of us who was born n grew up here. I looked forward too to celebrate my nation's 50th independence day. Being a post merdeka child, i am more appreciative to be born a free individual! However, as a teacher, when i see what our teenagers are developing into, i m in a state of stunned disbelief. And as a muslim, i shudder with fear!
Forgive me if i sound old fashioned...but what has painting one's face with the stripes of Jalur Gemilang got to do with the spirit of Merdeka? Except that this face painting is done by the west..and so our children follow, for no apparent reason or plausible explanation to link it to the spirit of Merdeka. Excuse me...but what has coming out in drones of motorbikes which rumble so loudly that you cant even hear yourself think got to do with the spirit of merdeka...except to show that malaysians are more affluent today than they are decades ago, that almost every teenager has a bike to rempit on!
On the eve of merdeka, a few students from my class (class no 7 out of 7 classes of Form 3), said to me,"Teacher, see you tonight...either at Putra Jaya or Shah Alam to celebrate the countdown to merdeka." Hmmm...they seemed excited enough, I had to smile at their enthusiasm. I responded and reminded them that they are not totally merdeka yet, there is yet the PMR to contend with, so if they could please get back into class where their subject teacher was teaching the day's lesson. One of them then told me to chill out, that whats there in PMR, come on man, its fun time...naik motor ramai-ramai, wusha wusha awek..and staying up late!" I was stunned by his comment..literally. If he had said it was going to be a special night coz there would be fireworks display, i would hv understood, but with that kind of remark..you know what...i am lost...something is missing here...
When i regained composure i asked them if they would be going out with their parents (in my old fashioned mind, i was thinking maybe it being a special night, malaysians would make it a special family night out), but simultaneously several boys answered, "Boringlah cikgu, mana ada...tak best lah macam tu, budak kecik bolehlah..."Again i asked, in all sincerity if their parents allowed them to be out on their own and riding motorbikes with other adrenaline pumped youngsters? Their answers gave me a renewed, more skewed definition of merdeka. You know what they said? Just one simple answer, "Merdeka!"
Hello...what exactly did they mean by that??? All little children love merdeka celebrations..but is that as far as it goes?
That is why i hesitate to post something prior to merdeka about merdeka. To tell the truth, i was feeling very apprehensive about the upcoming celebrations weeks before 31st August. I am not a disillusioned person or trying to be a sour grape here, on the contrary....but as a teacher, i feel the youngsters today, especially the teenagers are getting more entrapped into the "social and emotional bondage" of outside influence until, simply put, they are totally losing their own identity. Some have "recoloured" their hair, simply because they are not happy that their hair is black, and if they could at least look more western, or more korean or whatever. Some roam about with pants that hang down as if they are preserving their "faeces" in the seat of their pants...and claim that is their identity man... some go about looking blur and so sombre, with their black painted eyes, gothic clothes and going round crying "merdeka, merdeka" with looks that make them appear to be mourning instead.
For others who do not appear "different" just to prove their identitiy as young Malaysians(?). then they celebrate merdeka by literally stealing other people's flag just so they could wave the jalur gemilang in the spirit of merdeka. What?? steal a 70 cents flag from other people? Surely not out of dire needs, for God's sake we have been independent for 50 years, and we have gone such a long way since..into the era of modernisation. For the fun of it? I smiled when i first heard of this, it was just so ridiculous, it was almost hilarious..but the implication...what are the values that are in the souls of our beloved, young malaysians today? Have we taken a wrong turn somewhere?
I actually went with my family to be part of the countdown crowd of rakyat malaysia yang cintakan negara. After dinner, we headed all the way to Putra Jaya, only to make a U-turn when we saw the potential traffic jam we might be trapped in. STill determined to be part of Malaysia, we turned towards Shah Alam, at least to watch the fireworks from far...only to finally give up when we thought there was not going to be one, coz of the delay start for at least 10 mins aftr the stroke of midnight. But it made no difference by then...my 2 precious boys were already asleep at the back of the car...fireworks or not. I looked at them and was reminded of the incident when once, our Beloved Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam, as a teenager, wanted to attend a night of celebration in the city of Mekkah. He got himself ready, only to fall asleep as soon as night appeared, and was spared from spending a meaningless night of short lived fun and pleasure. I like to think God was sparing my boys too...
I love Malaysia, but as i grow older and watch Malaysia grow old too, i am thinking that Malaysia is having an identity crisis..stuck in its teenage phase, unable to grow old gracefully,or to mature wisely... Something must be done..by one and all. It is our duty to God to bring back these poor strayed lamb. But first, lets make sure, we are not strayed ourselves...lets make sure we have not forgotten the struggle for freedom...and God Knows Best!

AHMAD ASHRAF ILMAN - THE NOBLE LEARNED ONE

2007-08-28T02:42:00.000+08:00

Salam. Fifteen years ago, on Friday, 28th August 1992, at precisely 12.47 am, my baby boy was born. I had lost 2 sons previously before Allah blessed me with this one. Throughout my pregnancy my hubby and i had been vigilantly trying to find the best name we can for him, at that time thinking he would probably be the only one i have, considering my history of health problems. I wanted a name that he can be proud of, a name tht he strive to live up to...at the same time islamic as wel. I wanted him to be intelligent, wise, and for that people will respect him, an he will carry himself nobly. I wanted him to be noble, i wanted him to be a learned man one day. So, alhamdulillah, hubby dearest who have a fair knowledge of the Arabic language, turned up with this name that he carries today: AHMAD ASHRAF ILMAN- THE NOBLE LEARNED ONE. (noble for his knowledge)
As i look at him now, i marvel at how he has been living up to his name! He was talking by 7 months, both english and malay..coz ummi speaks to him in english all the time, while abah and makmok and the rest of the gang speak to him in malay. He could understand both, and speak both, quite perfectly too. He was blessed from the day he was born i m sure - throughout confinement up till he was nearly 3, he grew up amongst uncles, aunties, his grandmother, and even his cheerful, jovial great grand aunt! His aunty makmok, his grandmother Nenek, and his great grand aunt, Unyang, were his constant companions. I wonder if they were primarily the reason why he was mature for his age.
Ashraf, you are a gem to take care of. You were such a darling baby, easy to care for, coz from a very early age, u could speak and tell us what u wanted. When you were a baby, though, you already showed ur superiority...i remember clearly those days, whenever we were travelling, we had to park by the road side when it was your feeding time, You obviously did not like to drink your milk when the car was moving! I used to say the whole world must stop when it is Ashraf's feeding time...hahahaha.
I am so sorry ashraf..that you nver had even 1 drop of mother's milk. They say that babies who never suckle would grow up stubborn n unruly. I was determined to show them wrong. It is the mother's upbringing and the values that the father instils that will eventually shape the person. From the very onset, i was prevented from giving u breast milk coz of the steroids i was taking. So i was determined, that even on formula, when it was feeding time, i would carry u in my arms, and look at you lovingly, and give u the chance to look back at me, so we could bond, just as we would if u were breastfeeding. In fact, anyone who was given the task to feed him formula, had to do the same, just so he would not feel deprived. Alhamdulillah everyone was just too happy to bond with him. And i m so proud to say u hv grown up to be quite the gentleman...
I am so proud of you ashraf...you were always a sensitve child, even from when you were a small child. I remember once at such a tender age, how you cried when u watched the cartoon, "The Last Dragon" and when i asked you why, you said, " he is so lonely Ummi, he has no friends". And there was the time, when we deposited Unyang right in front of Nenek's house, due to her old age and very poor eye set, she could not even see the front gate right under her nose. You came down from the van, and guided her in. When you came back into the van, where i was waiting, there were tears in your eyes, and i could see u were trying to hide them, and you said," Poor Unyang, so old and so vulnerable" My darling baby, you were hardly 4 at tht time, but you were already sensitive to other ppl's suffering and hardship.
I am so sorry Ashraf... that you had to bear the effects of my steroid. Because of this, plus genetics, you are rather more hairy than your friends. I remember when you were still in your primary i think, due to ur big size, and your skin complexion which u inherit from me, your friends called u names...and i m so proud of the way u handled it. You came home telling me your friends called u names, n u asked me why u were rather hirsute. I explained with the scientific facts and all, and the next time ur firnds called u names, u explaind to them and u told them u nevr minded coz that was the Will of Allah u said. They stopped calling u names for awhile...at least. But your courage to say the truth...i salute u my darling son. And then there was the other occasion when u were in standard 4, when u protected ur friend who was being bullied by a form 4 boy. You told him that it was wrong in islam to hit another on the face, as that is where the uniqueness of Allah's creations lie, and for that he spanked you as well. I am so proud of u my son...and u took it within your stride.
I am so proud of you Ashraf...when one day ur kindergarten teacher informed me how Ashraf was an oustandingly good boy. You n ur friends were enjoying recess outside class, and everyone started to pick the flowers and play with them. You told them,"No" dont do that coz the plants need the flowers to reproduce" Your teacher was so impressed that she hugged you.
I truly respect you my son. You are my gifted son, you were already reading when u were just 3, and that open up a huge world of knowledge for you. You really r living up to your name. Till today, i hesitate to scold you, coz i know inside that brain of yours, sits many many verses of the Quran...compared to what's in mine, and even from the very beginning when you were quoting quranic verses,which to you, seemed just like any ordinary thing to do, it always amazes me and makes me feel so proud everytime u do it..and makes me really respect you. and i thank you, my son, for instilling it on to your little brother through your examples.
I am sorry Ashraf, that you had to face a rather rough times in the past 3 years of your secondary school - you are a mature boy, and as such u cannot accept some of your friends immature antics, and you hv strong values in you that u r able to see what is good n whts not. I know you r having great difficulty digesting ur friends' inclination towards rempit and hip hop, and all those western influence, but tht is the reality of life my son...i am just so proud, that you hv your own self discipline n not influenced till now. I know you r tyring ur best to help "dakwah" your friends...have patience.
For that i m sorry Ashraf, that you had to inherit some of my negative behaviours too, i can see that you share some of my flaws too..u can be quite impatient, n i know u got it from me. But i trust, as you grow older, you will learn to control your emotions when u r angry...
Ashraf my son, i want you to know this...i am so proud of you, will always be proud of you, and i have the utmost respect for the vast knowledge that is stored in your brain. I know sometimes u r frustrated when i never seem to be satisfied with ur results, even though u come home bringing strings of As. My son, i only do these things, coz i dont want your easy passage to success turn u into a cocky, over confident young man. I want u to realise that this gift that u have, this knack for storing vast information in ur brain, is a special gift from Allah. One that you should be so thankful for always, for the rest of your life, and use to the maximum..to better urself and to better our ummah, in the name of Allah and Islam.. Ican only say this: that i m thankful to Allah, i must have done something good to be honored with sons such as you and ur little brother, Zakiy. I am blessed by Allah, and your presence in my life, together with ur brother, have truly made up for the loss of your 2 older brothers.
Ashraf i am trying my very best to be a good mother to you, to be someone u can look up to, to be someone u cn be proud of. Parents always say to their children,"make me proud of you son". Well son, i want u to know I am very very proud of you. And on this special day which marks ur 15th birthday, i want to say this: Ashraf, I hope you too are proud of me, I hope you too can understand that all these years i m trying my best to raise u and ur brother to be good, devout muslims. Please forgive me where i hv erred in my ways, please excuse my weaknesses. Pls understand when i seem to demand only the best from you...you are my son, i know you can be the best..n in my own way, i am only trying to bring u there - to be THE BEST THAT YOU ARE!!! You and your brother, are the children that i hv always hoped to have Ashraf.
My son, i love you, always n forever u remain my baby...HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY SON....

UMMI
your guarding light....

15 Years Ago...

2007-08-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

Salam. It is just approaching 2 am now. And i can remember it very clearly just as if it had just happened. This time fifteen years ago, i was being wheeled out to the observation room just after my caeserian operation which started at 12 am. At exactly 12.47 am 1992, my son AHMAD ASHRAF ILMAN B. ZULBAHRI was born!
How time flies...!But you know what... the events of that day still linger fresh in my mind. 24 hours before that, i was woken up at midnite by a sudden sharp pain in my abdomen. Imagine! I had been staying in room 12 of the maternity ward for the past 2 months, yet i didnt know where the emergency button was. So, eventually i had to walk prostrate, to the nurse's desk. My room was right at the end of the corridor!
The night nurse then rushed me to the labor room where a dr. nizam examined me. He said i was not yet in labor so he did not know why i was having this severe abdominal pain. Immediately he placed the ctg (I think thts whats its called - the gadget that can detect baby's hearbeat) over my tummy - baby's heart beat seemed normal enough - no signs of stress.
But i was surely in severe stress. The pain was so that i had difficulty inhaling. Dr. Nizam informed the specialist who was in charge of taking care of my pregnancy, dear Dr. Marlik Abu. Soon i was given a strong pain killer which finally help me to sleep.
The next morning, i woke up quite late, missing the fajr prayer due to the sedative. The pain was a dull ache by then, and when dr. marlik came to see me, he said he wasnt sure what was causing me the pain, n wanted to investigate further to see if it was appendicitis, considering the pain seemed to concentrate on my right side.
Later that afternoon, dear hubby came to visit. Of all days, on that particular day, he said that he was not in office - doing field job. Therefore he would probably not be able to see me that evening, and i wouldn not be able to contact him...that time the only phone that would resemble a mobile would be the ATUR, whch only the select rich can afford! Bummer...i told him about my incident the night before, but he said there was nothing he could do. OKay...
Then just after he had left, i went to the to toilet to prepare myself for the Zohr prayer. It was then that i realised I was "showing"...the telltale clot of blood which signifies the beginnings of labour.
Once again i walked out to the nurse's table and informed them. Once again i was wheeled to the labour waiting room, n placed under observatio. Strangely i did not feel any pain at all at that time. I was there till nearly 4 pm...shivering. Baby showed no signs of stress at all. Then one of the nurses said, i could go back to my room and prepare mysel for surgery and contact the necessary individuals who could wait for me. Alas, there was no way i could contact my hubby so instead i contacted my eldest sister, Kak Ijah who lived near the hospital. In no time, she was there, looking out for me and asking me for my husband's whereabout. I was almost embarrassed to tell her that my hubby who was practically with me almost all the time throughout my pregnancy was suddenly not reachable on this particular day - what irony! Then as the nurse came n informed me i had to go and wait in the labor waiting room, my sister promised to inform my mom n other siblings. I still could not contact hubby.
Dr. Marlik had scheduled my operation for the 2nd of September, but my sudden abdominal pain had changed things. I was going to hv my C-section that night. But it was a busy night, and the OT was always occupied. I had to wait my turn, n stay hungry...
Suddenly at nearly seven, dear hubby turned up. I asked him if my sister had managed to contact him, and he said he didnt even know i was already in labor waiting room. He had come, because his female colleagues had shooed him from the field site when they learnt that i was having abdominal pain. They told him, "dont be a fool, your wife's in labour - what are you doing here?" God bless those experienced ladies...
So it was by the Grace of God, that my hubby could wait for me whilst i was being prepared for the C-section. He could see many pregnant mothers coming n leaving the labor room. Finally i guessed he could not keep it to himself any longer- his anxieties. He whispered to me, please make sure that our baby does not get mixed up with the other newborn babies! i wanted to smile. I told him, "i will be knocked out..how can i do that?" He was adamant - "Just please try" he had said.
It turned out that only at midnite the labor room was finally ready. When i was wheeled into the OT, dr. marlik was already there, his usual calm and confident ways was comforting to my worried and anxious mind. Dr. Marlik had given me the assurance that he would personally do the C-section for me, no matter what time of day it was. He had come at near midnight just to perform my C-section.
Everything went well with the operation, except for a slight glitch at the end. DR. Marlik had woken me up just after the op to inform me i had a baby boy...and suddenly i could not breathe! I panicked n told him urgently so. He told me to calm down, but still i could not breathe! That was surely a moment of panic there. Dear God, dont tell me, my newborn is going to lose his mom at such tender tender age? My kidney problems n the medication i was on made me feel i had reasons to worry. So dr. marlik ordered the anaesthetist to give me something, n finally i managed to breathe again...Alhamdulillah...
I came to again, when the nurses woke me up to show my baby boy - my baby whom i was praying for the past 8 years! I had already lost Abdullah 6 years ago, and finally i got the chance to be a mom. When the nurse showed me Ashraf, he was wearing the hospital cap, n his face looked all screwed up..prbably angry i was kissing him non stop. He was the cutest baby i hv ever set my eyes on.
It was touching to learn later that throughout my operation, my whole family, in laws n all were waiting outside the building as a symbol of their support. Hey you guys....you are the greatest!!!
From 1 am mind you...
And so at 12.47 am 28/8/1992, i finally became a mom, UMMI. It was just as my dearest dad, Allah bless his soul, had predicted. Once he told me, when i was busy trying to get pregnant n hv a baby, he said,"As soon as i m gone, u will hv a baby," he had said simply. Abah passed away on 27/11/1991. AHMAD ASHRAF ILMAN was born on 28/8/1992, exactly 9 months after his demise...Allah bless you, Abah. It was a friday...Abah was born on Friday, Ashraf was born on a friday too.He was 47 cm long, and weighed 2.8kg. For him, i had stayed in the hospital for 2 months, alone in ward 12, and that gave me the chance to read as many books on parenting, and i even managed to finish the quran(khatam) twice!. I knew Ashraf was special.
And now, in no time at all, my little baby has turned 15 today - Happy Birthday My Darling Son!

Why I SimplyLove Teaching

2007-08-21T20:03:00.000+08:00

Salaam! Today at 2 i was in Shah Alam, sending Ashraf my big boy to his additional tuition class in preparation for his PMR. Ordinarily i wouldnt mind if he wanted to take a break from tuition during this midterm holidays, but after observing how much time he spends at the computer, i decided it would be better for him to have some solid 3 hours of guided revision after all.
Anyway, i had lunch at the nearby Restoran Ali, and you know what? Just as i finished making our orders, a young Indian man approached me smilingly. He looked very familiar, but i couldnt quite make him out in the beginning. I was pretty sure he must be one of my students, so i tried picturing him in school uniform - yes it was my ex BIO student from last year, 5 Gigih of ACS...Logavinod!
We talked for sometime - he did very well in his SPM, and is currently doing Dip in Med. Lab Tchnology, or something like that. But what i remember is he is now studying Microbiology, Biochemistry, Haemotology, and all the other "logies" associated with Biology. He looked very excited telling me about his course, and i could see he is enjoying his dip. course. I told him that, and he agreed, so i added that it is a great bonus to really enjoy what we are studying. He smiled.
Then he said something which really really made my day. You know what? He told me that he was very lucky to have had me as his bio teacher the 2 years he was doing it in SPM, and thanked me. Then he told my boys that "I enjoyed your mother's class very much, she is a very talented teacher!" (hey..i did not say it ok..he said it..smile).
Feeling slightly embarrassed and a lot pleased at my student's testimony which i believe came from his heart, I told him I m not really that talented, i just love what I do - teaching my favorite subject, Biology.
And you know what else? everytime any of my exstudent comes up to me, actually recognises me whenever we run into one another, and then they say "Thank you teacher, I really enjoyed your class, and your lessons" it makes up for all my frustrations, my heartaches, my anger, my failures, my flaws....as a teacher. O I love being a teacher...no matter what you parents out there may misconceive us to be sometimes.

holiday outing

2007-08-21T19:27:00.000+08:00

Salam. its the midterm break, so yesterday hubby took the day off to take the boys for a day out with the family - to the Berjaya Times Square. The initial intention was to let my little Zakiy have a go at the Cosmo Theme Park, but for reasons which i would rather not mention (remembering the reasons will tick me off again), the plan was cancelled. After pacifying and promising my baby that we will come again during the year end holiday, things got better when we went to Borders - huge book store..loved it...but even then my big boy complained that he couldnt find the book he was looking for. I found a book which i found very useful to me and my writing, "Breathing Life Into Your Characters", but my God, was it expensive!!! Alas, the idea of probably not finding the book again when i come the next time, sort of twisted my arm..so u know what..i shut my eyes, pursed my lips, took in a deep breath and took the book from its shelf to the payment counter...needless to say, it made a considereable dent in my pocket, considering it is the end of the month. But all in all..i agree with my big boy's comment...IT WAS A GOOD BUY AND WORTH IT! (maybe he was just trying to comfort his poor ummi - literally poor!)
So you know what...for anyone of you interested to know a thing or two about writing and creating believable characters, inshaallah, from time to time i intend to add in whatever bright ideas i can extract from this book, Insha Allah (God Willing). I am a firm believer of the saying: you will not get it until you teach it....or share it...

teacher

2007-08-21T11:44:00.001+08:00

I rest my case....

Renal Transplant - nostalgic reflection

2007-08-19T16:27:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah..all praise be to Allah! Today is 19th of August 2007...exactly 19 years ago, this date, i had a new lease of life, a second chance to life, when i went through my renal transplant. Life has been kind since that day onwards...although i lost my second pregnancy after that, but all praise be to Allah, i now have 2 beautiful intelligent boys, Ashraf and Zakiy, the apples of my eyes.
I have been free of dialysis for 19 years now, n hope it will be so till the day i die. I surrendered my life to the Will of Allah when my kidneys failed me before, n so now too i surrender it to Allah too. One can only pray for the best, right. I am thankful to Allah, forever, eternally grateful to the Almighty.
U know what..my heart goes out to all those renal failure patients out there - living on dialysis machine, or on the CAPD or even worse, on the weekly PD is no life for anyone. For that, i m ever so grateful to my sister Oni, who came up 19 years ago n gave me one of her kidneys...just like that. When i asked her,"Why did you do it?" her answer was simple enough, but most profound to me,"You are my sister, and i love you." To me that is the real definition of unconditional love. I have honored her in an article i wrote n sent to the Women's Weekly magazine in US which was published in 1990, 2 years after my renal transplant.
I pray for all those end stage renal failure patients, that you too would be as fortunate and as blessed as i was. Dont give up hope..hope sometimes is just around the corner. Just remember the saying of the beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW), "every pain that is inflicted 0n one is accompanied with the expiation of his sin" and take comfort in that.
As for those of you who have toyed with the idea of being an organ donor, dont hesitate, do it now! Some one, some where...needs you.

My Boys....

2007-08-19T03:31:00.000+08:00

Salaam...my boys, the 2 most precious gem of my life...it is the school holidays now, and as such even when the clock is showing 3.30 am, they are still wide awake...or appear to be wide awake! I cant even hope for my little sweetheart, Zakiy, 11 to go to sleep. He is at the moment, frustrated that even during holidays, Abah still restricts his computer time to 12 midnite. He sees me excited with this new blog that i hv just set up, and wants to make postings on his blog too. I let him use my other laptop...but unfortunately he has forgotten his password!!!The poor dear...i can see his frustrations, but i cant help smiling at his forgetfulness. I asked him," How come u dont remember the password zakiy?" and you know what his answer was? "I automatically sign in on my own computer ummi, and now i cant remember which password i have used for my blog!"
O my baby zakiy, u r so well competent in the use of computers at your tender age, compared to me....but i hope u learn one lesson here: Eventually it is still the Human Brain which ultimately takes control...!

My 1st Ever Post...

2007-08-19T01:55:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah..finally i have it made..well not technically me, but i finally got my big boy to start a blog for me. It is 1.54am now, on a Sunday 19/8/2007. Hey u know what??? i just realised that this marks the 19th year of my renal transplant. MashaAllah... on this day 19 years ago, i was given a new lease of life, n today i get this new spot to jot pieces of my mind...for my own peace of mind, if not anyone else.
My son often tells me that writing my personal babbles in a blog can really capture my interest, and make me smile by myself as i write. U know what?? He is absolutely right...i m smiling right now, thrilled to bits typing my first ever post. I realise, eventually i will run out of ideas, and for sure run out of time to jot into this blog, but then again, it is my blog...i will run it, not it runs me...I pray to Allah however, that i will always enjoy writing into my blog just as i m enjoying it right now n remain just as enthusiastic as i m right now...salaam!
P/S: Hey Ilman, thanks a lot yaaa...u r no:1

About Me

2007-08-17T13:14:00.001+08:00

Salaam.

From my greetings, you can know I am a Muslim, and sharing the same birthday as Nehru and Prince Charles. I was born and bred in Klang, Selangor, and the 10th child of Cikgu Manaf, who was well known in my hometown as the football referee. My Mom, is a housewife, bringing up all 11 of us tirelessly - 4 boys and 7 girls.

My primary education was in MGS Klang, and then off to Sek. Men. Sains Selangor in Cheras, Then, I won a scholarship to do A levels in Grantham Lincs in England, and then I proceeded to Salford University in Manchester to pursue a course in Biology. It was in my final year that I met hubby, Zulbahri Long who was studying Engineering in Sheffield University.

Unfortunately too, it was at this time that I discovered that I had Glomerulonephritis, or simply put, both my kidneys were failing me. All praise be to Allah, I managed to complete my studies nonetheless.

Upon return to Malaysia, I had my one year tour of Teaching practical from Maktab Perguruan Temenggong Ibrahim in JB. I was the first batch to do KPLI (known as SPLI then).

I lost my first born in 1986, due to my renal failure, had to be on dialysis in 1987 for a year, before alhamdulillah, my older sis, ONI, God bless her, donated one of her kidneys to me in August 1988. Read my post on this...

With my renal transplant, began a new lease of life for me. I further my quest of knowledge in different fields. I have Dip in Islamic guidance and counseling, a certificate in Public Speaking, a Dip in Color Vibration Therapy. My most recent study brought me a Medical Degree in Alternative Medicine from the Indian Board of Alternative Medicine. I am happy to see the name endorsed on my scroll - Dr. Norhafizah Abd. Manaf.

But above all, my career is my passion. Careerwise, I am a Science/Biology teacher, currently teaching in my 4th school. I simply love being around youngsters. To better myself in this field, I have attended the Superteaching Prog, so I like to think of myself as a Quantum Teacher.

Speaking of youngsters, I have 2 fantastic boys of my own, having lost 2 previously due to my state of health. My 2 boys are the gems in my life, the apples of my eyes, Ahmad Ashraf Ilman, 15 and Ahmad Zakiy Mohsin, 11. Read about them in my blog, or better yet, visit their blogs, linked to mine.

I am the kind of person who can't really stay put, not doing anything. However, due to my condition, I cant afford to be too physically active. So my interest lie in the realm of the mind. I love reading and writing, and have got some of my writings published locally and outside Malaysia. Hope to publish a book one day, inshaallah. During the holidays, I try as best as I possibly can to travel, either domestically or overseas, my family's favorite destination being Mekah of course.

My prolonged steroid medication for my kidneys have unavoidably caused some complications to my health. So, really I created this blog just for my personal musings and reflections, hopefully as a legacy I can leave to my boys...and their future children inshaallah. However, should anyone stumble onto this blog, please feel free to leave your comments. It is always nice to have friends visiting.

Salam.