mom, 4 big brothers(by 2006, only 3), 5 big sisters and a younger sis -where it all started!
at sg. tua
in jeddah
in mekah
in sumatera - lubuk sikaping
in sumatera - my ancestor's museum - Imam Bonjor museum
in sumatera - at the line of earth's equator
in aquaria petronas twin tower
celebrating eid ul fitr -the big boy, ashraf, the hubby, zul, me, the ummi, the baby, zakiy
in cameron highlands
in cameron highlands
in madinah
in langkawi
at the highest peak in langkawi The present - muslimah, wife, mom, teacher, writer (inshaallah), happy transplant patient
enjoying life and thanking God everyday
in Wales
at home sweet home then..tmn sri andalas klang
in Wales
at home sweet home then..tmn sri andalas klang
in Grantham Lincs, UK
younger days, living on my own, with kidney failure and 'in days of ignorance'
You know what? On 14th November I celebrated yet another birthday in my passage in time. I share this date with the late Mr. Jawaharlal Nehru and Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales, 2 very well known dignitaries. Well I guess I must have something great in me too then, hehehe..
I guess I dont have that much years left in me, I reckon I have lived out most of my life, considering my 1 transplanted kidney, my hypertension, and my recently diagnosed liver cirrhosis. No problem there with me, when it is time to go, you just go...
But really I am not complaining. I have lived a wonderful life...wonderful in the sense there have been many experiences that I feel not many have gone through. I have looked death in the eye when I was terminally ill with renal failure, but God has been gracious and I am now enjoying a second chance to life..a good life mind you.
I have experienced excruciating heartache and heartbreak when I was forced to terminate my very first born due to my failing kidneys then. Till now, mention or even memory of my first born, dearest Abdullah, will touch a raw spot and it still hurts, even though the years have dulled it somewhat.
I have been privileged to go out, be on my own from the very tender age of 12 when I was selected to study in a boarding school, Sek. Men. Sains Selangor Cheras KL and then overseas to the UK, from Grantham to Salford. Leaving home from that tender age pushed me to be resilient and more self reliant. I learn to make decisions on my own, forced to learn from my own mistakes, widen my worldview. All these contribute to the person I am within me today.
I have been honored time and again to witness the true meaning of love, and countless encounters to appreciate God's love direct upon me. My sister, Oni showed me exactly what the word selflessness means when she gave me one of her kidneys, to which I owe her my life today. My hubby Zul, showed me the practical meaning of being patient in times of adversity when i was severely ill. For that I am grateful to him. The love of God has saved me numerous times from making mistakes in my life which if not for His love and Guidance, would have given me many regrets. He has blessed me with two beautiful, intelligent, and obedient sons, which make up a lot for the loss of their previous two older siblings. Ashraf and Zakiy you guys are the apples of my eyes, my right and left arm!
God has blessed me with my ever loving brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews ( and now grand nephews n nieces), so many good friends, numerous students over the years of my career as a teacher who accept me as I am, my strength, my weakness together. My life is blessed by their love and friendship
So cirrhosis or not, hypertension or otherwise, I must say my life is good, all praise be only to Him. I am so blessed, and that makes me abundant. What therefore remains of my time on earth, please dear God, let me spend in the worship of YOur Greatness, let me spend in the service of man, spreading the Word of God and spreading love that He bestows in abundance in my heart and in service of this mother earth in the education of my students to be responsible for what they do here on earth.
For the years that I have lived on this earth, and for all that remains, I thank you O God, for I am truly blessed and Guided.
Finally all that I ask for now is the Husnul Khatima, the best of all ends, the pardoning of all sins by God and a place in His Paradise, my final abode...
You know what? On 14th November I celebrated yet another birthday in my passage in time. I share this date with the late Mr. Jawaharlal Nehru and Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales, 2 very well known dignitaries. Well I guess I must have something great in me too then, hehehe..
I guess I dont have that much years left in me, I reckon I have lived out most of my life, considering my 1 transplanted kidney, my hypertension, and my recently diagnosed liver cirrhosis. No problem there with me, when it is time to go, you just go...
But really I am not complaining. I have lived a wonderful life...wonderful in the sense there have been many experiences that I feel not many have gone through. I have looked death in the eye when I was terminally ill with renal failure, but God has been gracious and I am now enjoying a second chance to life..a good life mind you.
I have experienced excruciating heartache and heartbreak when I was forced to terminate my very first born due to my failing kidneys then. Till now, mention or even memory of my first born, dearest Abdullah, will touch a raw spot and it still hurts, even though the years have dulled it somewhat.
I have been privileged to go out, be on my own from the very tender age of 12 when I was selected to study in a boarding school, Sek. Men. Sains Selangor Cheras KL and then overseas to the UK, from Grantham to Salford. Leaving home from that tender age pushed me to be resilient and more self reliant. I learn to make decisions on my own, forced to learn from my own mistakes, widen my worldview. All these contribute to the person I am within me today.
I have been honored time and again to witness the true meaning of love, and countless encounters to appreciate God's love direct upon me. My sister, Oni showed me exactly what the word selflessness means when she gave me one of her kidneys, to which I owe her my life today. My hubby Zul, showed me the practical meaning of being patient in times of adversity when i was severely ill. For that I am grateful to him. The love of God has saved me numerous times from making mistakes in my life which if not for His love and Guidance, would have given me many regrets. He has blessed me with two beautiful, intelligent, and obedient sons, which make up a lot for the loss of their previous two older siblings. Ashraf and Zakiy you guys are the apples of my eyes, my right and left arm!
God has blessed me with my ever loving brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews ( and now grand nephews n nieces), so many good friends, numerous students over the years of my career as a teacher who accept me as I am, my strength, my weakness together. My life is blessed by their love and friendship
So cirrhosis or not, hypertension or otherwise, I must say my life is good, all praise be only to Him. I am so blessed, and that makes me abundant. What therefore remains of my time on earth, please dear God, let me spend in the worship of YOur Greatness, let me spend in the service of man, spreading the Word of God and spreading love that He bestows in abundance in my heart and in service of this mother earth in the education of my students to be responsible for what they do here on earth.
For the years that I have lived on this earth, and for all that remains, I thank you O God, for I am truly blessed and Guided.
Finally all that I ask for now is the Husnul Khatima, the best of all ends, the pardoning of all sins by God and a place in His Paradise, my final abode...
2 comments:
Is that really your son Ashraf?? OMG how he has grown! As tall as the father. Soon Zakiy will catch up and you'll have to sentinels, left and right!
When is your book coming out? Dont forget aahhh...signed copies for moi.
Take care
hello teacher... i've read through your posts... just that i have trouble posting a comment that i have mailed one..ha ha ha... i saw the photos.. and you were very thin when you were young.. but of all the point that matters is your smile that gives life to those photos. I'm happy to see you today after all that you have been through at a very young age and as a student who knows part of your past, i can say that god always tests good people but never lets them down.. it's certainly true that god has always been with you and he will till the end... all those bitter past has actually revealed the true love and care your sister and your husband have for you, i have no words to put forward on the sacrifice they made....what a lady she is....And not to forget that you have something great in you that might not be seen but can always be felt.. or shall i name the nobility in you... as a teacher you are certainly the best as everyone else would say about you... and the price you got from god after all those past is your Sons who never fails to show their appreciation and love towards you....The greatest gift from God. Please never think too much on your illness as they will make you feel more sick... god is great... About the bummer... she will learn her lesson very soon... ha ha ha Merdeka Merdeka Merdaka.. these words are nowadays just words for many... where is the feel of it .. my guess is that i grow too high together with the country's development...that it eventually flew away with the wind....ha ha ha... as a malaysian i'm happy to see the height the country has reached since independence... but where are our teenagers heading?????????????????????????
All this while i have enjoyed your class and please always remember that i'm always available for you as a student as a friend
you have certainly formed a part of who i am today and i'm always grateful to have you as my teacher and guide...
A year has certainly flew forwarding many memories and thoughts to share and to treasure...
You Are Always Remembered ...
selva
Post a Comment